Saturday, August 14, 2021
Beryl vs Saphir
Sunday, August 8, 2021
Intelligence Levels explained via Supervillain Schemes
A comedic blog idea I thought up, demonstrating levels of intelligence by what kind of inventor type supervillain scheme they could create with the level of technology they can make. Hopefully this will be funny and/or give an inutitive feel for the Kardashev Scale, at least as far as my understanding of it goes.
Type 0.1 Level Intellect: Can use basic tools. Below Average Human.
- "Grung smash your in head with club unless you do what Grung say."
- "Grung hide into darkness and stab him with sharp stick Grung made."
- "This building was made before modern fire codes. If anyone takes a step forward, I'll drop this match setting the whole building alight!"
- "This device will catapult the message into that window over there."
- "We want to poison the water supply enough that people get sick but not die so they will blame the Water Company Preseident so that's about THIS much!"
- "Yes my fellow citizens. Those mongrels somehow cut off all your electricity, but see how I have restored it with my transistor? You can trust me!"
- "You may notice a sense of paralysis...the chemical poison you have just consumed is temporary but I doubt you will live long enough to celebrate the fact!"
- "What's this? This, you primitives, is a firearm I have just fashioned. With a press of a button, any single one of you will be blown away no matter your might or your armor!"
- "The modern world REQUIRES the internet to function....what would happen if someone could shut...it.....off?"
- "Hmmmm...I gave you a quick scan....no weapons, heart signal normal, no spy bugs on you....very well you may see my most secret plan."
- "He's on our tail, deploy the mini-mines in the trunk!"
- "My Robot army is stronger, faster, and far more rebuildable then any human army. With them I can take over the world!"
- "They called me mad, but I have created new life. My child...they will call you an abomination but I all you the next step in human evolution!"
- "With my weather machine, I will call down a furious storm that will devastate this town unless I am paid the sum of my choosing!"
- "They've discovered my base....quick! Retreat to the Lunar Base!"
- "With a press of a button, I can use relativistic mass to shift the space around me...teleporting seemingly faster than light! It will be child's play to teleport inside the bank, tank the money, and warp out."
- "No! The AI I built to destroy...its become fully aware and now it seeks vengeance on me for creating it!"
- "Muahaha, I lured the colonists to the planet I terraformed to make it habitable...and with a burst of antimatter, I will erase their whole settlement in one titanic explosion!"
- "Call for her all you like, but her mind is uploaded into my virtual reality machine...and if you try to intervene I will delete her mind completely!"
- "My FTL drive means by the time they come searching for me, I'll be halfway across the galaxy!"
- "Little do they know that it 24 hours the bomb I implanted on the planet will be set off and turn the planet to dust!"
- "My Ghost Blaster operates on manipulation of ectoplasm and will allow me to detect and destroy any meddlesome ghostly heroes!"
- "My matter condensor will warp gravity to create a small black hole, that should keep the guards busy quite nicely while I figure something out!"
- "My super science is advanced enough, I can control all the wills in the universe just by saying 'Alakazam!' "
- "Fool! Your galaxy was already doomed but I have just designed to speed up the collision with the Andromeda Galaxy by orders of magnitude!"
- "The Progression of time....what a pointless thing. With this remote's pause button I can pause time, giving me all the time in the world!"
- "I have not forgotten my old arch-nemesis that you are an embodiment of the concept of justice. That's why I have designed this instrinsic field destroyer. Soon your "justice" will fade from the universe, and Injustice will reign!"
- "You stand against me? Do you not know with a wave of my hand I can erase every version of you that has ever existed from every version of the universe with my technology?"
- "You see...I put the universe itself into my hyper-spatial box. And even with your infinite speed...you'll never escape. The space inside is infinitely big!"
- "I can never seem to win against those wretched heroes. This machine will let me go through every possible universe at one to find the greatest chance of success."
- "I've got it! They only win because they're the hero....but if I construct a machine that can make ME the hero of the story.....heheheheHAHAHAHA!"
Wednesday, August 4, 2021
Ocean Master Reading Guide
Tuesday, August 3, 2021
Ranking every Codename: Sailor V Chapter
I just recently re-read Codename: Sailor V and wanted to make a quick blog ranking the chapters while it's fresh in my memory.
16: Minako in Game Center Crown:
This is the chapter where Minako fights the misogynist Taku. I'm gonna be honest, Taku is the sole reason this is my least like chapter. Even though he's clearly the villain, I'm mildly uncomfortable at scenes of Sexual Harrasement. If you like that type of humor, that's fine I'm not gonna shame you or anything. I just don't like it. I also just in general don't like villains like Taku where they aren't threatening because he's just a human, the only purely non-supernatural antagonist in the entire series, and because he's just meant to be hate-able you don't find him particularly entertaining or compelling. I generally like villains that are JUST there for the audience to hate them. It doesn't help that it has basically no story relevance. It's got a cute intereaction or two between Minako and Artemis, but so does every Sailor V Chapter.
15: Sailor V vs DeVleene:
This is the weird one where the villain's plan is to make everybody fat. DeVleene is very much not a threat even if she does have powers and the chapter inspired one of the worst eps of the SM anime. It's not uncomfortable like the last one, and it's got some actual plot relevance with Phantom Ace's first appearence. That said, the lack of menace and the really dumb plot means I can't put it any higher.
14: The Youth Bets on the Hachimaki Stone:
The villain of this one is one of the weirder enemies that came in the odd period where Minako was fighting people outside the Dark Agency but while Mike Makii is as weird and as goofy looking an enemy as Chuu-Chuu, the narrative treats him like she's some treat despite her karaoke powers. Minako's devotion to her lastest crush is endearing as is Artemis' meta joke about how there's always a new first love, although I found Otonaru to be a rather cold person. Granted he has good reason, and I think this chapter is signifigantly better with it's more quiet contemplation of human morality. But I didn't find it enjoyable to watch Minako strive to win a bunch of contests for this guy only to find out her's engaged. Also he's a middle schooler how is he engaged?
13: Pet Stories 1: Nyan-Nyan's Plot:
The first of the Pet Stories three-parter. Codename Sailor V has two three-parters or mini-arcs and the first is the worst and the second is the best in both cases. This one is mostly fine. Minako comes off kinda whiny and entitled demanding Artemis give her a new weapon, but in fairness she is supposed to come off that way since the lesson was about treating Artemis with respect. That said I don't think the "punishment" is proportional. Nyan-Nyan is a fine villain, she's got a relatively amusing gimmick of slipping in cat onomotopoeia.
12: Pet Stories 3: Chuu Chuu's Plot:
I've heard some people think one is transphobic and that seems really confusing to me. Chuu-Chuu is not trans, she was just wearing a disguise that happened to be male. Regardless this chapter has some pretty funny gags from Artemis imagining Hikaru as Sailor V or Minako asking the doctor coyly if it was time for a full body inspection. Chuu-Chuu's not a particularly threatening villain but the narrative treats her as such.
11: Sailor V's Vacation! The Hawaiin Plot!
This one is another pretty funny one, with a bunch of hijinxs of getting on wrong planes from Hawaii to Greece with hijinxs from Natsuna or the one poor guy that keeps getting accidentally screwed over by Sailor V and is given superpowers by Hibiscus-y for vengeance only to immediatly get beaten when Minako turns into a sexy form to make him pass out from blood loss. It's a fun time. Hibiscus-y is barely more of a threat then Chuu-Chuu but she actually is a Dark Agency member and somewhat forwards the plot.
10: [Channel 44] Pandora's Plot:
The first in the Dark Idols three-parter where Minako goes up against dark agency members who have taken the form of idols to brainwash people across Japan and take over the world. As you might be able to tell it's much more exciting with Minako turning into a policewoman to into a secure area, fighting for the fake of the world against Pandora. Pandora has way more menace, having a monsterous true form seen in mirrors and using hordes of brainwashed humans to try and weak down Sailor V.
9: Pet Stories 2: Wan-Wan's Plot:
The best of the period where Minako was fighting non-Dark Agency threats. Wan-Wan is at least in atmosphere a much bigger threat then his siblings and before Chuu-Chuu copied it comedically had the serious motivation of avenging his sister. However the main draw to the chapter is the fun meta-story going on with Minako taking a job as assistant to a manga writer writing what is basically "Sailor Moon" and Naoko having fun basically writing about her own job. It leads to fun stuff like Sailor V announcing herself as the heroine who jumped out a manga panel.
8: Sailor V is Born!
The first chapter of Sailor V and by extention Sailor Moon as a franchise. This chapter somehow manages to including comical exaggerations like Minako flying out into space and seeing her castle orbiting Venus or Narcissus being a threat to all of Japan with more subtle things like the building tension of learning that non-humans walk among us disguised or the quiet moment near the end with Minako cries at the loss of her first love before accepting her responsibility. You also have a very important moment character-wise where Minako states that she never cries setting up her lack of sentimentality and a moment in the series finale. Overall an atmospheric, imaginative, cool relatable introduction to the concept of Sailor Senshi and to the Sailor V series.
7: The Dark Agency Conspiracy Chapter
The third part to the Dark Idols three-parter. This chapter has a lot of cool plot stuff going on with the introduction of the enemies nature as a non-human organization trying to steal human energy for nefarious purposes, you learn of a deep conspiracy and Minako is just in top form this ep, turning into a lady commando with a machine gun, beating one of the clones of Flourite off screen before taking her place, dramatically revealing herself with a straight up Cutie Honey intro and then making her enemies heads explode with her attacks. I almost see this chapter as a straight up homage to Cutie Honey given how Minako acts this chapter and if it was then well done.
6: The Puchi Pandora Scheme
I think the second chapter of the Dark Idols three-parter is my favorite. Introduces Natsuna and Toshio, their antics being giving a lot of charm to any chapter they're in. Puchi Pandora is the first villain in the series to try and avenge their dead siblings at Sailor V's hands way before Wan-Wan and Chuu-Chu. This chapter is where I think the meta gags also start really coming into Sailor V with stuff like chapters noticing the narration at the start of the chapter or messing with the text panels and those are pretty fun and feel right for Minako. There's also the cute gag where Minako basically pulls a Bugs Bunny and changes into a pretty boy to trick Puchi Pandora into capturing her only to reveal her true self. Just a classic Sailor V chapter.
5: Showdown! Sailor V vs Electronic Fighter Girl Lurga!
This chapter always stuck in my memory even though in more objective terms it doesn't really do all that much differnet. It's basically "character gets sucked into video game" plot that happened all the time in the 90s to early 00s when one of the Dark Agency members is some kind of living video game that actively hurts people and makes them obsessed with playing. It's still a basic world domination plot but just the different in aesthetic and the fact that Lurga actually fights Minako instead of trying to overwhelm her with brainwashed civilians before getting one-shotted makes it really stand out.
4: Sailor V in a Pinch?! Kaitou Ace Appears!
This is I think the closest I think Naoko came to doing civilian drama right. After Phantom Ace arrived the Dark Agency... for whatever reason ;) .... isn't active and so it seems like he has everything handled. As such people stop caring about Sailor V. Minako gets into an internal conflict about whether she even wants to be Sailor V and begins the conflict leading into the series finale, the conflict of Minako being torn between love and duty. You get Minako and Natsuna's fun little friendship, and you actually meet Phantom Ace who is absolutely not anyone else in the series. They also try to make Founde seem threatening having her be the Dark Agency "Trump Card", that said in practice she goes down like any other random enemy which is probably my biggest gripe with the chapter.
3: Love on the Tree-Lined Road-Tearing Along at Turbo Full Throttle!
It's hard to describe what makes this plot good succintly. The plot in general is that Dark Agency member Vivian is brainwashing street gangs, making them even more violent and taking money from people. Minako gets involved with a noble-hearted deliquent Saitou and his love for his old teacher Okappi. Saitou's story is both cool and heartwarming, even if it in more objective terms it's pretty small and Minako gets her first kiss this chapter which is pretty cute to see. This chapter reminds me a bit of Yu Yu Hakusho which is not just a really good thing, but also kinda fitting and sweet given who Naoko would eventually marry.
2: A New Journey Begins-Part 1:
The penultimate chapter of Sailor V starts getting closer in tone to the final chapter and you can feel the mood change while still being recognizably Sailor V. There's a fight with another themed Dark Agency member Princess Lin-Lin who has brainwashed all of China this time. Minako is called away to be in a movie being produced in China after she uses her magic to make herself look like a model which is a fun foreign location for a Sailor V plot. However there's also Ace. You start seeing the beautiful imagery that Sailor Moon would be known for such as the Drop of Venus, the jewel formed as a drop from when goddess Venus came from the foam of the ocean. Ace confronts Minako on her devotion to duty over love, and you can almost feel her memories start to awaken, especially combined with Minako's internal turmoil.
1: A New Journey Begins-Part 2:
I'm gonna be honest, none of the other chapters are even close to as good as the final chapter of Codename: Sailor V in my opinion. This is the chapter where it starts being Sailor Moon, my favorite series of all time. As Minako sees everything start being destroyed from the last chapter, she flashes back to her past life, yelling in panic that it can't happen again, an incredibly emotionally intense moment of suddenly awakening to her true identity as Sailor Venus. And that's just the start. The final battle with Danburite is a thing to behold, and the resolution of Minako's internal conflict is tragic and beautiful; that the Goddess of Love to protect all love would be cursed to never find it herself. After the battle Sailor Venus' determination is felt in every line on the page and her statement that everything she thought she was just a brief disguise, the true battle begins here and she must find her princess and allies is the kind of intense gravitas and pathos I love for as well as the cosmic science-fantasy concept of immortal beings living and remembering many lives is an example of that which makes me love Sailor Moon. This chapter is beautiful, intense, full of amazing moments, psychologically interesting, symbolically fascinating and exactly why the SM Manga has been my favorite series since the first time I read it.