Valentine's Day Blog: My Favorite Ship Dynamics

I wanted to make a quick blog to celebrate Valentine's day by expressing the tropes I most like in fictional relationships. There are I think the seven tropes I like most in fictional romances, roughly in ascending order of how much I like them, as well as some of my favorite ships at the end as examples:

7: Sexually Positive and Mature:

I really don't like in fiction the unpleasant stereotype of the perverted boyfriend/husband and the nagging jealous girlfriend or wife. It's not unwholly unpleasant to watch, it doesn't have the closeness to reality that it's supposed to be conveying. But neither do I find perfectly chaste relationships that compelling. I like ships in fiction where the two characters are mature about sexuality, respectful and encouraging of each others desires and boundaries, and genuinely act like reasonable adults on the matter.  A relationship that is sex-positive where men are depicted as rational adults and women as having their own desires is much more engaging to me. 

6: Positive Gender Dichotomy:

What I mean by this is I like femininity and I like masculinity in general and therefore I like seeing the positives of either or especially both in a relationship. In Het relationships I like seeing more masculine men temperamentally with more feminine women temperamentally as well as more traditional courtship scenes. For instance I like scenes of the man bringing flowers and chocolates to the woman. I like imagining elegant wedding scenes between them. I also like Slash and Femslash ships, but often I imagine one of them  taking on the feminine role, and one the masculine. That is to say for a Femslash ship I will still imagine a traditional style wedding, it's just the woman I relate to will wear the wedding dress and her partner "crossdressing" in the groom's wear. In a Slash ship I will still imagine a traditional Valentine's scene of chocolates and flowers, it's just that the partner I relate more to will receive from his partner. I like masculinity and even Moreso I like femininity and I like seeing the two concepts depicted in a positive harmonious relationship. I am not as into relationships where the characters gender identities aren't very strong, and even less so I'm not usually into relationships of a masculine woman and a feminine man. Not that I have anything against such people in real life of course, but I like to project onto one partner in romantic scenes and this dynamic sort of makes it harder for me to do that. 

5: Spiritually Uplifting:

I really like seeing the uplifting power of love, its ability to make people better than they were as they strive to honor their love. In particular I enjoy scenes where one partner has emotional angst and the gentle or silly love of their partner can, in its simplicity, help lighten the strain on their soul. I am less fond of relationships where for one reason or another, make the partners sadder or even worse make them behave more reprehensibly.  

4: Admiration and Idealization:

For me personally, attraction is highly associated with admiration, seeing someone as having desirable traits and wanting to be around them because of it. As such I really enjoy scenes where characters honestly express their admiration for each other, including in a romantic context. For instance the sort of science in Medieval Fantasy works of a Knight kneeling before a fair lady and proclaiming her of the highest beauty and that he is at her service... I am really fond of such scenes. I don't understand relationships where the characters don't admire each other, or even seem antagonistic towards each other. 

3: Complementary Opposites:

Some people like ships based on the two characters having a similarity with the notion that their relationship is based on their shared experience and some people like them based on the characters differences with the notion that they are complementary opposite. I'm of the latter type, I like ships with two opposite kinds of people together. I have romantic ideas of a relationship helping to complete someone by filling in the parts they are missing. There's something spiritually fulfilling in my experience in seeing opposite things in harmony. When it's inanimate forces in harmony it feels like possible, but with sentient people them being in harmony rings of plausibility to me because they're able to recognize the benefit of someone different from me brings to their life. 

2: Wholesome Supportiveness:

I lack a desire for "spice" in relationships, internal conflict and relationship drama. Genuinely I prefer ships where the characters create a wholesome air and I love scenes of mutual support, where the characters encourage and trust in each other. This is the source of some of the dynamics listed before this. I don't like when characters in stories act stupid for drama, and this is ESPECIALLY so in relationships. I most enjoy relationships when they are at their most functional. It's especially good when the pair are so in-tune that they can support each other on their insecurities without them even saying what they are, the two automatically adjusting to help each other. I recognize for some people this kind of relationship comes off as boring as it lacks any spice, but I enjoy seeing people being built and happy in their relationships,

1: Serious and Goofball Dichotomy:

This is probably the central one for me, I really like pairings where one partner is cool and serious and maybe a little brooding while the other is a cute, funny, goofball. I find this dichotomy instantly really compelling and fun to watch. To be honest it's mostly because I like people who are more stoic and serious and with perhaps some emotional angst and I want to help them smile and give them a safe place to let out their inner pain. On some level I feel like the primordial opposition in the world is order and chaos but when you try and depict that in a relationship, it generally comes out as antagonistic. What I like about this dichotomy is that it's a more harmonious form of that. It's an orderly person who appreciates the chaos of being shown mundane reality in a new light that makes it out to have so much more to it then they see. It's a person who lives in chaos finding something they can rely on and depend upon, an unchanging shade they can rest under. It's order that loves chaos and chaos that loves order, the harmony of the rational mind and the emotional heart. This dynamic can be funny or sweet but it's always the kind I like to see me. 

Obviously few ships encompass all of this. However these are the elements I like. Here are some of my favorite ships to illustrate what I'm talking about, not ordered in any particular way.

Minako Aino x Rei Hino from Sailor Moon:

The Heartburn ship is the pairing of Sailor Venus and Sailor Mars. The two are opposite in almost every way. Minako is a very modern kind of girl with a rather unladylike temperament, full of antics and shenanigans and extraverted exuberance, and extremely androphillic. Meanwhile Rei is a traditionalist proper lady with quiet dignity, highly mature and responsible, mildly misandrist and potentially asexual. Their pairing is so much fun and I love the allusions to it in canon. In Rei and Minako's Exam School Battle we see how how Minako's attempts to troll Rei and attempts to imitate are born out of true admiration for her and we see how even when Minako gets Rei in trouble, her spirit is uplifted by the goofball Senshi. I also like the mythological allusion to how Mars and Venus the deities were lovers in Roman Mythology, and just think they look really pretty together.

Tamaki Suoh x Kyoya Ootori from Ouran High School Host Club

(Pictured in the Background: Me)

Kyoya's backstory is easily my favorite ep in Ouran, and it centers on this relationship. They are affectionally nicknamed the Club's Father and Mother respectively which you can really see despite the fact that Tamaki is so much more of a softie and emotional than Kyoka-senpai. Kyoya is the dark genius third son of the Ootori family, rational, mysterious and according to himself a pure utilitarian even as he protects those in need. Tamaki Suoh is the half-French heir to the Suoh family, a bombastic, flirtatious, emotionally expressive and childish prince. I absolutely love the scene where after striving for an entire ep to pretend to impress and be the perfect friend to Tamaki, Kyoya has a mental break-down when Tamaki is in his home and actually demonstrates he understand Kyoka already, that he sees thorugh all Kyoya's layers of masks, breaking Kyoya into self-realization and showing him a world of joy and possibilities he didn't allow himself to dream. It's SO good!!! Tamaki's childish whims would in no way be possible without the cunning mind of the Shadow Prince, and many suspect the Shadow Prince truly is the one running the show (and he kind of is), but that avoids the crucial point that Tamaki is the light that brought life back to Kyoya's soul, that inspires him everyday.

Koriand'r x Dick Grayson from DC Comics

Starfire and Nightwing is a ship I've always liked but I've appreciated more as time has gone on. I think they make for an exceptionally cute couple in all regards; this slightly broody angsty vigilante who's very serious and responsible with this emotional alien princess who's full of passion and life. I appreciate how Starfire is the sexual instigator of their relationship and how the two are so sexually and emotionally mature with each other in most versions. The two are a classic example of opposites attracting yet uplifting each other mentally and emotionally. I like a lot of different versions of them from their comic version most of the time to their Teen Titans animated series version to the animated film versions of them. Nightwing to Starfire represents the down-to-earth-edness almost literally being a man of the Earth who patrols the night streets of dangerous cities as a Vigilante while Starfire represents the most strange and exciting aspects of the DC Universe, it's alien races with odd powers and psychologies. I see a lot of what makes DC special in their pairing, the fact that these two elements that feel like they come from completely different universes somehow meld together and enhance each other. 

Nanoha Takamachi x Fate Testarossa from Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha

My favorite part of MGLN, Nanoha and Fate are one of the single most famous yuri pairs in the MG Genre which is really saying something. The two aren't so much opposite as personalities, but opposite in what they represent, Nanoha represent the mundane world to Fate and Fate representing the magical world to Fate. Fate was a cloned girl made entirely to serve the whim of her abusive creator, trying to convince herself that her abusive "mother" actually loves her. Nanoha was able to look part the dark brooding magical girl opponent of hers to see the sad girl inside and eventually broke her from the abusive grip of Precia. This means that Nanoha showing her all the small mundane parts of life get a whole new heartwarming wholesome dimension as she is showing her the life a young girl should have. They develop from close friends to eventually girlfriends and raising a daughter together with the development feeling both natural and sweet. The two are extremely supportive of each other in every interaction and Fate idolizes Nanoha, the one who saved her. 

Aziraphale x Crowley from Good Omens

I like both the book and TV versions though they are slightly different. Aziraphale and Crowley are an angel and demon that despite their sides supposed to be opposite sides of the great war at the end of time, found companionship and more in each others embrace and saved humanity from Armageddon. I love the versatility of this pairing almost embodied in the episode that shows Aziraphale and Crowley's developing relationship over the course of human history, the two as the literal angel and devil of humanity's history across time. Aziraphale is extremely sweet and funny in his little habits and anxieties while Crowley is pragmatic, ruthless, and cunning making their relationship feel very complementary, especially as Aziraphale does help guide Crowley more than one might think. I like how they complete each other and pull each other towards being more human as Aziraphale guides Crowley towards having the slightest empathy and Crowley guides Aziraphale to be the slightest mischievous. And the way they deceive Heaven and Hell by swapping identities, knowing each other well enough to convince their side they are each other was great, treating their understanding of each other as the climactic weapon.

Honey Kisaragi x Natsuko Aki from Re: Cutie Honey

This relationship is very fun and sweet! Honey is a magical girl warrior who is a cute goofball who's very outgoing friendly while Natsuko is a workaholic serious dignified police agent who initially disliked Honey, with her opening up to Honey representing her growth in idealism. Their relationship is highly eroticized with very fanservice-y sequences, but it's treated in a very sex positive way overall, with the two not being shamed for their bodies or desires. Honey's earnest desire to befriend Na-chan is adorable and funny and Natsuko's growing acceptance and eventual love for Honey is really sweet. They even took Honey's signature pre-combat speech and turned it into a profession of Honey's love for Na-chan! That was really cute and funny! Natsuko's admiration and support for Honey are great as well. Flash is my favorite overall version of Cutie Honey but Re has my favorite of Natsuko and her relationship wit Honey.

Usagi Tsukino x Mamoru Chiba from Sailor Moon

My favorite ship in fiction, I already wrote a Valentine's day blog about these two but to summarize it, these two have every single one of the seven dynamics I mentioned above and more. The first stirrings of romance I had were watching Usagi and Mamoru together and thinking that I wanted something like that. They shaped my very idea of a supportive relationship. Usagi and Mamoru represent the duality of the Moon and the Earth. Usagi is ever-changing and mysterious just as the Moon appears on Earth and Mamoru is as reliably constant as the Earth is from the Moon, his blue eyes filled with hope and possibility so too reflecting that blue orb from space, glimmering with life and adventure. They are endlessly supportive of each other, Mamoru encouraging Usagi when she is feeling low and Usagi encouraging Mamoru towards his dreams even when it means they will be apart. There is a passion, a fire to their relationship, a primordial power. It was fated that their love should end in tragedy, but not even fate nor time nor space could keep them apart. They love each other spiritually and physically, the physicality of their relationship never presented as a threat to Usagi's purity, with Usagi being implied as the instigator of the physical side of their relationship and thinking of it for strength. The two constantly express how much they admire each other, with Mamoru in particular idolizing Usagi. The two feel gendered opposites, as distant as different worlds, yet share a mutual understanding that's clear in every scene together. Part of what makes it so great can't be expressed quickly as it has to deal perfectly it reflects the themes of the story and evolves alongside it, but for all these reasons and more Usagi and Mamoru are by far my favorite ship.