Amir Valerie Blumenfeld (Jake and Amir) Respect Thread

I can't believe I'm doing this.

Welp, I said I would do this a long time ago as a goof. Here it is. A respect thread for Amir from Jake and Amir. Feel free to take this as seriously as you want to. Because J&A eps are a few minutes each at most I'm just gonna probably say what ep it's from.

Note: Only using Jake and Amir for continuity, since the hardly workings clearly can't all take place in the same canon.

Origin:

Amir's mom was a French-Canadian Queen and his dad was a coward who went AWOL during his time in Vietnam, faking his death 3 times over the span of 18 months and gave away the names and locations of over 1,000 of his comrades. For this he received the black heart, congressional medal of dishonor. (30th Birthday). Amir's mom drank whiskey while pregnant with Amir on purpose in an attempt to terminate her pregnancy (March Madness 7). This was unsuccessful and Amir was born in Northern Buffalo, spending all his time for the first several years of his life in a wood shed (Full Body Cast) save for when his parents attempted to teach him to drive at the age of 4. Amir's parents used to yell at him, taunt him and throw knives at him (Driving Lesson). However Amir's Dad was the butler of the Dad of collegehumor writer Murph. The two had a suicide pact but Amir's father chickened out at the last moment and Amir became indebted to Murph for life (Double Date Part 1). When Amir was 6 he was abducted from a shopping mall and survived off a steady diet of chicken mcnuggets for 5 years until he was found, having forgotten how to speak (Cousin) causing him to spend 9.5 years in Second Grade (Tutors). And worst of all, growing up, Amir's family moved...a lot. (Jake and Amir Finale Part 4).

All this chaos changed Amir into a being of chaos, both psychologically and physically, constantly inconsistent. That was until the day he met his coworker at Collegehumor Jake Hurwitz. Jake Hurwitz being the symbol of normalcy and the status quo at least in appearance caused Amir to develop an unhealthy obsession with him, and thus the series begins.

Strength:

+Amir casually pushes aside Pat with an unrealistic amount of force (Dating Coach Part 1)

+Amir's casual grab of Jake's shoulder hurts Jake (Crossover Puzzle)

+Amir causes Jake to bleed just by bumping into him (Camera)

+Amir ramming into Jake causes him to bleed (Cereal Part 2)

+Amir makes Jake profusely bleed from a single strike (You're it)

+Amir kicks off Jake's tongue (Tongue)

+Amir knocks out Jake with one punch (Ace and Jocelyn Shirt)

+While Jake has worn all 3 on-screen fights with Amir (Snack Attack, The Godfather, Airline Scam), it's likely especially given Amir's dialogue in the last one that Amir was holding back against his obsession Jake. When angry and Betrayed Amir overpowers Jake (Taste Test). Jake is strong enough to casually break bones (Rock Paper Scissors, Bake Sale), and is perfectly fine after claiming to have been hit by a bus earlier that morning (Jake's New Shirt)

+Amir casually rips through his own flesh and bone (Break a Leg)

+Amir tosses an M&M with enough force to knock out a tooth (Moment of Silence)

Durability:

+Amir twice over takes Jake hitting him in the head with a mug to try and render him unconscious without much damage though is pained (Jordan, Amnesia)

+Amir survives boiling split pea soup being spilled all over his face and neck without much damage (Split Pea Soup)

+Amir survives and can continue to talk normally after a pencil is thrown through his neck (Fish Scroll)

+Amir survives a glass container of orange juice exploding in his mouth (Beeper)

+Amir basically tanks breaking through a window and falling at least a story while naked (Lights Out)

Pain Resistance:

+Amir gets bitten by his snake 5 times, including once in the neck and is mostly fine (Snakebite)

+Amir twice has broken his neck and been completely fine (Last Night, Daughter)

+Amir acts fine and can continue to move his arm despite it being comically dislocated (Parkour)

+Amir castrates himself seemingly without feeling any pain (Jake and Amir Finale Part 6)

Stamina:

+Amir survives not eating for 3 Days (Labor Day)

+Amir survives trapped inside a vending machine for several days (Vending Machine)

+Amir is "very very sick" with numerous diseases and has eaten nothing but chicken nuggets for years and has survived (Health Insurance)

+Amir survives an unspecified but long amount of time unconscious in a stream (Community Service)

+Amir holds his breath for 17 minutes (World Record)

Speed:

+Amir has a lot of superhuman speed to subsonic speed feats (Bagels, Headshots, Homeland, Business Ideas, Cologne etc.) generally of Jake looking directly at Amir and Amir changing clothes or grabbing an item etc. in a single jumpcut, often with Jake noting how fast or weird that was. 

+Posts 1900 times on Reddit in one day (Reddit Part 2)

+Posts 3900 times on Reddit in one day (Reddit)

+Amir goes to Forever 21 and gets a shirt and comes back to the office in seconds (New Shirt)

+Goes from McDonalds to Work in seconds (Commute)

+Physically moves from Jake's house to the office in 6 seconds (Sick Day Part 3)

Stealth:

+Sneaks above Jake in his stall while he's in the bathroom without Jake noticing until Amir speaks (Sneaky)

+Expertly steals Jake's cereal and then hides from him in the same room in close quarters (Cereal Thief)

+Pulls Jake's Genitals out of his pants without Jake noticing (April Fools)

+Follows Jake home without him noticing (Going Home)

+Stealthily follows Jake from work all the way to an airport and on the same plane as him without him noticing (April Fools Part 1)

Equipment:

+Melee Weapons Include Hammer (Headache), Bat (Explanation), and Knives which can cut through fingers (Knives). He also uses a knife a second time (Karate) which may be the same as the one before

+Has used several types of firearms including a rifle (Weapons), a Kimber Stainless Raptor II (Ransom) and unknown firearms at several points (Moving Part 2, Fired)

+Has used an Astronaut Costume (Fired)

Summoning:

+Amir has many times conjured various pieces of equipment at will (Costume, Nutrition, Tissue, Ebay, Mirror Image, Carbs, Rap Teacher 2, Jacuzzi, Kobayashi, Trust Fall 2...probably more), suggesting he could summon his weapons as well if he needed too.

Teleporation:

+Teleports into a room prompting Jake to ask "WHAT are you?!" (Poster Ideas)

+Teleports inside a box (Happy Holidays)

 +Somehow goes from New York to California in one day suggesting either a high speed feat or long-distance teleportation. Given Amir's lazy attitude it's more likely the latter (Date Part 1)

Healing Factor:

+Regens the usage of his legs over night (Last Night)

+Claims to have had his tongue kicked off a week ago and would have had to regen it in at most a week (Tongue)

Bodily Control:

+Can stretch his arms freakishly long (Suggestion Box)

+Heart stops for 30 seconds at least and it doesn't bother him (Blood Donation)

+Can survive being compressed inside a blueberry muffin (Real Estate Agent Part 2, Jake and Amir Finale Part 2)

Intelligence/Skills:

+Tricks Jake to do what he wants (Couch)

+Knew Pat was lying about the bake sale (Bake Sale)

+Submitted a perfect march madness bracket (March Madness Part 5)

+Solved the Rubik's Cube without even looking at it or trying (Rubik's Cube)

+Skilled at Magic (Magic Trick)

+Is REALLY good at freestyle rapping (Rap Teacher 1, 2 and 3)

Mental Manipulation:

+Is really good at starting chants (Cereal, Fired, Food Poisoning, Bus)

+Somehow turns the crowd of normal business people against Jake including attacking him (Meeting Invitation)

+Implied to have mental abilities as a "promoter" (Laundry)

+Has the ability to manipulate people into doing what he wants, including the editor of his videos which is possibly the source of powers (Hoops)

Pre-Cog:

+Amir predicts events that are gonna happen at least a day ahead (Loud Movie, Thanksgiving Scroll, Fish Scroll)

4th Wall Abilities:

+Has on numerous occasions broken the fourth wall 

+Can choose the background song (High Five)

Other Abilities:

+Voice Mimicry: Does a freakishly good impression of Jake (One Almond)

+Technopathy: Chokes Doobs through a TV Screen/Pre-Recorded Message (Jake and Amir Finale Part 5)

+Highly Limited Form of Casuality Manipulation: Everytime Amir mentions the low point values of Football, a goal is immediatly hit (World Cup 2)

+Can possibly hit intangibles: Punches a ghost (Graveyard)

Weaknesses:

As a force of chaos, is physically and mentally inconsistent. Sometimes far dumber and weaker then his feats suggest. At times he has forgotten how to speak properly and became almost an animal (Celebration), didn't know how to spell Jake (Office Fantasy), and couldn't get out of a net a baby could (Mountain Hiker). Also is so lazy that he didn't want to rake a yard to get out of a lifetime jail sentence (Fourth of July Scroll) and is easily scared (Scared)

Personality: 

Has described himself as "a mix between Che Guevara, Bam Margera, Dom Irrera" (Bus). Has described himself as a "pro gun-control anti-abortion neonazi liberal lesbian rabbi" (Dating Apps). Was a staunch supporter of Gay Marriage (Gay Marriage) when it was illegal, a Communist who supports the USSR (Olympics) and also a Trump Supporter (Trump).

Basically speaking he is a force of chaos and anarchy. Whatever the status quo is, he isn't in a deliberately contradictory mess of everything that seeks to destroy order and normalcy.

 

Summary:

+Up to Wall Level Strength (Threw an M&M hard enough to knock out a tooth, can casually rip out bones, scales to Jake)

+Up to Wall Level Durability (Tanked falling at least 1 story out a window naked, survived strikes from Jake who can casually break bones)

+High Pain Resistance and Stamina

+At Least Supersonic, Possibly Hypersonic (Can casually travel large distances between city blocks at least) in seconds

+Proficient in Stealth

+Teleportation (Likely Thousands of Kilometers)

+Voice Mimicry

+Bodily Control (Can fit inside a muffin)

+Regen overtime (Likely High-Low)

+Summoning (Material Objects)

+Weapons (Guns, Knives, Hammer, Bat, Astronaut Outfit)

+Up to Clever Intelligence

+Pre-Cog

+Mental Manipulation

+Technopathy

+Fourth Wall Breaking

+Can play background music

+Highly Limited Causality Manipulation

+Possibly can hit intangibles

-Inconsistent Physical and Mental Abilities

-Lazy

-Easily Scared

Oh and just so you know, I did this as a goof.

Top 5 Guilty Pleasures

A guilty pleasure is different from something that you think is good but is unpopular. A guilty pleasure is something you enjoy but recognize serious problems in. It's opposite is something that you dislike but respect, in my view. 

I don't...how to put this, if someone gives a principle of their enjoyment, a rule, and then says they dislike something I like because it follows or contradicts that rule then to me that's very understandable. 

However when someone says they don't like something I like for things I don't view as legitimate points about the work, I become irrationally annoyed. I also do with works I don't like. I do not like Revolutionary Girl Utena, but I have seen people criticize it for reasons that are irrational and similarly got highly annoyed. 

With that said, there are definite things that are "flaws" or otherwise points that people in general dislike that I simply don't mind very much that appear in some of my favorite works. Examples:

1: Corniness: Stuff like the power of love, the power of hope, the power of friendship or positive thinking or eating your vegetables...I really don't mind these kind of themes. If anything, I'm kind of a saccharine person, I like works with sweet awwwwww moments, that wallow in idealism and optimism. If you are the type to mentally gag at ultra-sweetness and cuteness then yeah I can understand not liking some of my favorite stuff. 

2: Preachyness: A lot of my favorite works I will completely admit are very heavy handed, and preach their message very directly and forcefully. I really don't mind this, and enjoy the intensity of the message. If you don't like my favorite works because they're all heavy handed and not subtle enough, then fair enough, my favorite works are usually not that subtle about their themes. 

3: Sexuality: If the above two makes me sound very family friendly due to lack of edginess well....sorta. I am not a very edgy person, and am not fond of excessive gore or irreverence, but the content I like can sometimes have heavy sexuality. I'm a rather sex-positive person and honestly just don't mind eroticism in art, even when it doesn't "appeal" to me. Fanservice at worst makes me shrug and sexual characters I often find fun and/or interesting. If you are not as sex-positive as me, then I imagine this might prove less comfortable for you. 

4: Exposition: I know logically "showing is better then telling" but honestly don't mind if a verse takes a quick exposition break to explain a bunch. Sure it's not that exciting but it seems very efficient a way of conveying information. That said I know most people dislike heavy exposition.

5: Repetitive/Unsurprising Plot Structure: This one is hard to explain why I don't mind it. A lot of my favorite series are on the predictable side and repeat a similar plot structure. I guess in general I prefer ht familiar to the unknown, so I don't mind having a smaller variance between what just happened and what is happening. If you really want a series to surprise you, I can understand not liking some of my favorite series.

All of these are perfectly legitimate reasons to dislike something that are in a lot of my favorite series that I don't mind personally but also would understand as perfectly acceptable reasons to dislike them.

I say all this to help explain why some of the below I enjoy even if they have relatively large problems. 

5: Papillon Rose

Papillon Rose is what Panty and Stocking probably seems like to moral prudes. Which is unfair, only 90% of P&S's jokes are about sex lol

Note this is specifically the OVA. The Anime afterwards was just depressingly boring. The OVA is just a bunch of sex jokes disguised as a magical girl parody (as well as a blatant sailor moon reference and a blatant cutie honey reference). I'm gonna be honest, I only really like it because I have a bit of an immature sense of humor when it comes to sex jokes. Otherwise it's pretty unremarkable. 

The characters are really flat, the plot was basically just an excuse to have girls in sexy attire fight, and there's also beastiality which was...unpleasant.

Regardless I thought it was pretty humorous.

That said the anime is really boring because it has everything the ova has but without the sex jokes.

4: Sailor Moon Abridged

Everyone has a favorite Abridged series. Most often it seems to be Yu-gi-oh! Abridged or DBZ Abridged. Sometimes it's One Piece Abridged or Hellsing Abridged or Sword Art Online Abridged (which is my favorite btw). SMA came out back when a new abridged series was being started for every mildly popular anime or anime-esque series to make an abridged series for. And like a whole 10% were good!

I like Megami33 and the SMA cast. They seem really cool and their bloopers are probably the funniest part of SMA....which leads to the biggest problem... namely that the bloopers are the funniest part of SMA. 

SMA is not a DBZA or a YGOA. It's a lot cruder constructed with characters that are even more of caricatures then most Abridged Series. That said maybe it's just because I like SM so much but I really do still enjoy SMA and some jokes are just classics for me. That said a lot of the jokes are really predictable due to the characters being kind of one-note. Regardless, SMA still holds a soft place in my heart.

 

3: Tarot, Witch of the Black Rose

An independently made comic series about the witch Tarot that has lots and lots of fanservice.

As I mentioned above, I don't really mind fanservice, even when it doesn't really make sense. People also seem to dislike the proportions of the bodies of the characters. That's understandable but to be honest I'm not really a sensory person, I'm more of an abstract thinker kind of person so something having not the best visuals is not a huge problem to me, and from what I can tell most of the art is perfectly fine, it's just the proportions and body movements people dislike.

Series also has really strong and heavy-handed themes about bigotry and all the sort of themes of neo-paganism like being environmentally unconscious and do no harm and stuff of the sort. Again as I mentioned above that's something that doesn't really bother me.

I like Tarot personally because I like magic and occult related things in general, I think the series has a lot of really cool moments (I mean one issue has Tarot having to fight a Dragon Sorcerer naked on a snowy mountaintop to protect her cat familiar, having to fight quickly or she'll freeze to death, and that's just a normal issue for her....that seems cool to me). I also generally agree with themes of the series and think it's neo-pagan inspirations are cool.

2: Tomorrowland

Oh Tomorrowland....here's a film that I really like, but I REALLY get the dislike for. You have to be REALLY open to sappy corny to get past that, I get it.

I get the film's problems, they are there. It's even for things I like very heavy-handed. It's very sappy. It has pretty glaring plot holes. All of these I understand but don't really trouble me at all. I don't like how the middle of the film turns into a road trip film where they just go from place to place a bunch of times but that ending...

I adore the ending quarter of this movie or so. The message is so heavy handed, but I enjoyed it so very much because it's exactly how I think. and I'm gonna be honest, for all the hate this movie gets, for reasons that are sometimes undeserved sometimes pretty deserved, Governor Nix's speech near the end of the film is probably one of my favorite speeches of any villain ever. 

Yes it's a very very corny family friendly Disney Live-Action Film and yes it has the exact problems you would imagine from that combination of words, but I really feel like there's something really good here.

1: DC Comic's The New 52

This is a bit of a weird one because it's not so much that I am saying I like what people don't like here, but more so there are good things to like that packaged in with the things you don't like.

When the New 52 was announced a lot of heavy DC fans were understandably upset because it seemed an erasure of legacy, which is bad and important to remember. That said now that the new 52 has been integrated with the prior continuity, can we stop sweeping everything that came out of DC for the entire 5 year New 52 Period with one big generalization. The New 52 has some really bad series, yes. It had a lot of continuity problems. But it did have some good series too. 

The first New 52 Wonder Woman arc is among my favorite Wonder Woman Arcs. The New 52 Justice League Dark was cool and had an amazing ending with Pralaya. The New 52 Aquaman was so good the recent movie was made by it. Geoff Johns was a pretty good writer and he wrote a bunch of this stuff in this period. I hear good things about Demon Knights and the Batman stories of this time period. The New 52 Starfire solo series was finally a Starfire solo series and it was exactly what I wanted for the character even if it was a massive continuity mess. 

Yes, the New 52 Superman stuff started out kind of awkward. Yes the New 52 Teen Titans and Superboy stuff was lackluster. Yes Red Hood and the Outlaws was pretty terrible and exploitative. The fact that I don't mind Starfire being even more sexual then she was in the Post-Crisis days doesn't change the fact that like everything else about her was wrong in that depiction. Yes integrating Wildstorm went terribly and messed with one of my favorite ships ie Apollo x Midnighter. 

A lot of things were not great but there was still some pretty good stuff and I would really like if people stopped making the sweeping claim that nothing good came out of DC for like 5 years. I'm gonna be honest, I prefer the New 52 to the Silver Age, although only just. 

So yeah, I have some guilty pleasures. I don't have many and it was honestly hard to find 5 of them, but yeah. These are some things I enjoy but recognize have like really big problems. 

How they Compare: Dark King

Outside our dimension, called the garden of rainbows by the extra-dimensional beings, lies the two parallel dimensions, the dimension of light called the garden of light and the dimension of darkness, called the dotsuki zone, or dark zone. The main world of the Dark Zone exists in a great vortex of darkness caused by the supreme emperor of the Dark Zone known as Dark King. Where he comes from is unknown, though he is said to be the most evil being in existence, dedicated to the destruction of all other the worlds.

His malevolence manifests in the supreme power of the Dark Zone, the power of destruction opposed to the power of creation the supreme power of the Garden of Light. The Dark King seeks to gain the power of creation to gain unrivaled power.

The Dark King's power manifests primarily in her sheer capacity, able to casually destroy any of his underlings with ease. The Dark King's power was of such strength that with his rage he was able to casually explode a star and it's surrounding planet. Even when the 3 Dark Seeds, beings with aspects of his power gained the power of creation to equal his power of destruction he was able to equal the three of them in combat. And this was in his base state.

When he was able to absorb the power of creation, his power was such that it was causing space and time to come undone, creating cracks across spacetime, shaking the universe requiring his opposite Light Queen to stabilize it. It was suggested that if Dark King was not stopped, his power would have brought destruction unto all the worlds. Dark King was also arguably stronger when he re-incarnated, claiming to have the power to destroy the Garden of Light with a singular attack.

Dark King is also likely durable on the stellar level+. Even Light Queen his equal stated she could not defeat him, and it took Pretty Cure and Light Queen together to defeat him.

Dark King is also very fast. The Dark Seeds far weaker then him were able to casually fly inter-planetary and inter-dimensional distances, demonstrating FTL and Inter-Dimensional Capabilities. Dark King is also capable seeming of attacking across dimensions.

The Dark King has a number of abilities as well. He can project energy as energy beams, and control darkness. His darkness manipulation was so potent that after absorbing the power of creation, he was stated to be able to envelop all the worlds in darkness.

The Dark King has the ability to absorb or "swallow" other beings or energies. He did that to absorb the rebellious dark seeds with the power of creation absorbed. 

He also has the ability to summon much weaker entities to serve his will.

The Dark King in his base state has a large weakness. The Power of Destruction is of such malevolence that it damages him greatly to use it's power, and so he usually relies on his minions rather then get involved personally. The Power of Creation can counteract this, allowing him to use the Power of Destruction freely. This is represents by his rage, which blinds him from thinking clearly.

Name: Dark King

Origin: Pretty Cure

Classification: Embodiment of Destruction, Dark Emperor

Powers and Abilities: Enhanced Stats, Energy Projection, Darkness Manipulation, Absorption, Summoning, Inter-Dimensional Travel, Spatial Manipulation (with the Power of Creation)

Weakness: Without the power of creation, the power of destruction harms him to use. His rage can blind him.

Destructive Capability: Stellar in Base, Potentially Universal with Power of Creation

Range: Inter-Stellar and Inter-Dimensional

Speed: FTL

Durability: Stellar+

Lifting Strength: Unknown

Striking Strength: Stellar Class

Stamina: Low normally as his own power harms to use, Very high with the power of creation

Standard Equipment: None

Intelligence: Above Average (Ancient Entity with lots of experience with tactics)

So how would he do in other verses?

In the DC Comics-Verse, the Dark King would be a drastic threat during the New 52 Era, due to having raw power over most of the Earth Metahumans, though he would be a speed disadvantage against the stronger Earthlings if he tried to battle directly instead of via another dimension (though DC Magicians and Super-Scientists do have inter-dimensional capacity). If he is strictly base, he might be overwhelmed by raw power and numbers, but if he has the power of creation he would be very difficult to stop and require a hax or the like to beat. He would do much worse in any stronger era.

In the Marvel Comics verse, Dark King would be rather interestingly placed, having power on the level of a Herald Entity but speed comparable to a Metahuman level entity. He would be a massive threat if none of the Herald Level Entities can interfere as inter-dimensional capacity is somewhat rare though again Magicians and Super-Scientists do have inter-dimensional capability. That said He would not be able to do much against even lower level herald level entities due to raw speed and versatility unless he gets a lucky shot in.

 

In the Sailor Moon verse, Dark King would be a powerful threat for the first two arcs, having stellar level power and ftl speed regardless of version, though the upper bounds of the second arc are likely too hax for him. That said with the power of creation would allow him to briefly rise to the power of the strongest Sailor Crystals, specifically the Silver, Golden, Saphir and Black Crystals which means even up to the fifth arc his power would be notable. He would likely be on par with the strongest members of the first arc and most of the members of the second arc. It doesn't help that inter-dimensional capabilities are very common. He could become a theoretically much stronger threat if he begins absorbing entities to use their magic. 

In the Dragon Ball Universe, Dark King's relative standing depends a lot on what you think of Cell's Solar System Statement. Either way, his FTL Speed, Absorption and Stellar Power, he is likely either about on par with Super Perfect Cell or Base Majin Buu in terms of manga continuity. While his universe-busting power might be technically on par with the Super Saiyan Gods, he has neither the precision nor durability of one of them and would also get speedblitzed. He has a few neat abilities for the verse like Darkness Manipulation and Summoning, but his absorption is nothing new for the verse and so he would likely qualify as another strong villain. 

In the Saint Seiya verse Dark King would be on par with someone first activating their 7th sense giving the abilities to fly at the speed of light and and crush stars with their fists. His absorption would be a fairly unique ability, and despite lacking the atomic manipulation of the verse, if he has the power of creation he could probably defeat the lowest bracket of 7th sense users. That said any Gold Saint would be able to beat him easily.

In the Bayonetta-verse, Dark King would qualify as a Top Tier Demon with some unique weaknesses. If taken on quickly enough, he would be fairly easy to beat as he does not seem to have the abilities to see the invisible or hit intangible enemies. That said if allowed to grow in power he could absorb the verse fodder and gain those abilities becoming far more dangerous. If allowed to grow in power he would have power comparable to a top tier like Jubileus and Queen Sheba. With the power of creation he would be able to threaten the trinity of realities just as he threatened the garden of rainbows, the garden of light and the dark zone with his power. However while he would be a massive threat, he could likely still be beaten one on one by someone like Bayonetta due to the power of her time manipulation, general versatility, as well as being able to manipulate his rage. 

My Top 10 Ships

I made a general blog about my ships, but this is a list of my top 10 ships.

Somethings you'll probably notice. I have a very particular pairing I like...

I like a pairing of an emotional, goofy, playful, slightly childish often light-aesthetic character, usually the girl in a straight pairing, uke in a gay pairing, or neko in a lesbian pairing paired with a dignified, elegant, maybe slightly angsty, mature often dark-aesthetic character, usually the guy in a straight pairing, seme in a gay pairing, and tachi in lesbian pairing. That's just sort of the relationship dynamic that most appeals to me, possibly because it reminds me of my own relationships.

You'll also notice if you notice my personal likes, that despite the fact that I am bisexual, I generally am not attracted to both members of a ship, though for my favorite I am usually drawn to at least one.

10: Hikaru x Lantis (CLAMP)

Hikaru x Lantis really captures the basic dynamic I was talking about, with Hikaru being cute and childish and emotionally passionate paired with the oh so refined Knight Lantis. I am glad Hikaru doesn't ever become a completely dependent force, relying strictly on Lantis, as she is still a Magic Knight and a powerful force. Her Childishness and innocence is not a weakness per se since it does lead to her godlike will and her ability to speak to animals, though it can be. Hikaru and Lantis are sort of the archetypal example of the relationship I like. The downside is it doesn't have a huge amount of screentime in canon. 

9: Zatanna x Constantine (DC Comics)

I know it's never gonna be permanent, because Constantine has some rule against ever being allowed to be happy, but these two really work together well I think. Zatanna's magic stories and Constantine's magic stories are opposite sides of the spectrum of magical grittiness to magical flashiness in terms of solo stories. Zatanna's tricky playfulness can give John some actual fun in his life, without ever compromising the internal structure of his stories' themes, while John's pragmaticism and down-to-earth-ness give Zatanna's often over the top magical girl friends like Nightmare Nurse and Madame Xanadu to a lesser extent someone to play off of.

8: Seiya x Shiryu (Saint Seiya)

Furthest from canon. Both are seemingly straight with Shiryu's love for Shunrei and Seiya's thing for Saori...that said their soldier in arms thing has so much homoeroticism to my fujoshi eyes, and they keep doing heroic sacrifices for each other...not to mention Seiya's hot-bloodedness and Shiryu's composure mix really well. 

7: Apollo x Midnighter (DC Comics)

It's Superman and Batman...but like.....as a gay couple......It's genius! No but seriously the two are so hot together...it's like DC appealed to us fangirls by giving us a universe where the world's finest were the world's finest yaoi <3 The sun/moon duality thing is really cool and reflected in their personality. Superman and Batman compliment each other really well just personality wise so it makes sense that in a universe where the versions of them were gay that they would hit it off <3

6: Ichigo x Masaya (Tokyo Mew Mew)

Everytime I see these two interact it's like I'm a pre-teen again pretending I'm Ichigo and wanting my Masaya lol....I can't say my favorite thing about this ship without spoiling TMM, but Ichigo in all her cute strengths and flaws comes to represent humanity to Masaya, and this is built beautifully into the plot and character development. 

5: Harley Quinn x Poison Ivy (DC Comics)

These two are so cute together, and I love how they change each other from villainesses to antiheroines overtime and by their presence. Harley was abused and nearly killed by her ex, the Joker. Poison Ivy felt pity for her and tried to help her, and this act of kindness began both their slow paths to redemption. While both are insane, their insanity-s seem to compliment each other and provide a dual impetus towards redemption. 

4: Nanoha x Fate (Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha)

The Magical Girl genre is characterized by the meeting of the mundane and the magical. This is what Nanoha and Fate Represent, and so their union represents the magical girl in her totality. Nanoha is characterized as a wholly average girl, who has lived a normal life, with a down to earth pragmatic personality. Fate is representative of the magical world, having been born as a clone, and living a horrible and then "normal" magical existence, serving as magical slave and then knight, with a grand idealistic chivalrous personality and an over the top idealistic flair.  Fate brought Nanoha into contact with the magical world through the TSAB, giving her life meaning and purpose, and Nanoha gave Fate a sense of normality, allowing her to be freed of her abusive "mother's" control and living a normal life to give her perspective. 

3: Minako x Rei (Sailor Moon)

The Ancient Greeks spoke of the union of War (Ares) and Love (Aphrodite). Naoko alludes to this love with the strange relationship between Rei and Minako, Sailor Mars and Sailor Venus. Yet as befitting the change of time and the internal contradiction of the characters. Mars appears not as the wild fire of the Ancient Greek Warfare, but the cold ladylike precision and formality characteristic of this modern age where war is won not by blood and sweat by the signing of papers and pushing of buttons. Rei is Warfare rendered in the modern context, she is hotblooded deep down, but she presents a formal ladylike exterior thought her competitive perfectionist nature betrays her true intent to conquer. Minako is Love in this, what the manga calls "Age of Love", prone to spontaneous impulse, silly gestures, and sudden shifts in moods. Their union is resonant with the Greek Myths and strangely modern in it's relationship between a contradictory lady and tomboy. 

2: Yuuko x Clow Reed (CLAMP)

Once there was a sorcerer surpassing all others, Clow Reed, who knew all things. Yet appearing before him was a strange mischeivous witch, the witch of dimensions, Yuuko whose mischief and wit were so potent that not even nigh-allseeing Clow could know that which she would do. When Yuuko died, Clow's wish for her to open her eyes warped the multiverse and began the series of adventures that forms the main narrative of the entire multiverse. Clow Reed and Yuuko's love relationship is so powerful that it's presence is felt across the multiverse. The two are both beautifully elegant around each other, yet they complete each other, Clow being the sorcerer so strong that Yuuko could not control, Yuuko being the witch so unpredictable Clow could not predict. In D&D terms, they were a force of law and chaos that possessed a paradoxical love and longing for each other to complete each other. Somehow all the things unsaid about this relationship make it paradoxically stronger, as it's mysteriousness calls to mind all the curiosities about it's nature.

1: Usagi x Mamoru (Sailor Moon)

It couldn't be any other. The love between Usagi and Mamoru is so complex that it eclipses all of the other works on this list, yet so simple in it's power. It is the catalyst for most of the plot of the series, they are forces that cause the most radical changes in each other, from Usagi going from the cowardly crybaby to the hero of justice and from Mamoru going to closed off to himself to reaching out to the world. Every romantic mood, every romantic theme and imagery I can see between these two. They are all at once, two soldiers at arms, a prince and a princess, a human and alien, the younger and the older, the night and day, innocent and sexual, intense and face-paced while agonizingly slow and deliberate,  opposite personalities and shared personalities (contrasted in one of the chapters). Usagi x Mamoru is to me the very definition of romance. 

How they Compare: Zagato

SPOILERS FOR MAGIC KNIGHT RAYEARTH

In the land of Cephiro, will controls all. There existed in that land a woman who was entrusted to maintain peace and harmony across Cephiro. The pillar of Cephiro, known as Princess Esmeraude had to pray at all times for the good of Cephiro. Assigned to protect her was the knight Zagato. However against their wills, the two fell in love. Emeraude's heart impure and unfocused, Cephiro began to break apart, with horrific monsters and natural disasters appearing.

To protect his love, Zagato kidnapped the princess taking her away, hoping to save her and to finally bring his beloved peace. In a way, Zagato is still just doing his old duty of protecting the pillar, though motivated now by love. Zagato's will to protect Emeraude gives him his great powers, and he is willing to destroy the world if it means protecting her.

Zagato's power is vast even for his verse. He is physically strong and skilled enough to match Cephiro's greatest swordsman Lafarga. Lafarga was so strong that even at range, the pressure of his sword swing was able to create a crater in the ground calced at requiring 9.8 tons of tnt to create. Zagato's so powerful that with a mere gesture he was able to create a forcewave capable of destroying the Escudo armor of the Magic Knights, armor as tough as the Magic Knights' own will. With his Rune God, Zagato was able to match the power of the Magic Knights' Rune Gods, who were strong enough to battle a planetary reality-warper able to create a planetary scale forcefield to protect against inter-planet invasions. 

In terms of speed, Zagato scales to the Magic Knights from having a will on par with theirs until near the end of part 1, and being able to pilot/fight with Regalia at FTL speeds at close-range with the Magic Knights' Rune Gods. The Magic Knights were also able to slash a creature that was a living light and easily deflect the lightning attacks of Lightning Element Inouva. 

Zagato's stats come from his sheer will, among the greatest in Cephiro. His will was so great that he was able to create a Rune God (Mecha) for himself, capable of matching Rayearth, Celes and Windam, three rune gods, all at once, despite them being ancient and experienced. Zagato's will was so strong that the Magic Knights had to combine their wills to beat him, and they were later able to defeat a planetary-reality warper via their will, suggesting his will should be high enough to resist planetary-scale reality-warping via scaling.

Along with his will and physical capacity, Zagato is one of the greatest magic-users in all of Cephiro. He is so much so that Alcyone, rebellious student to the greatest magic-user in Cephiro Guru Clef who was able to delay him for a time, is only a subordinate of Zagato. Zagato's magic is strong enough to transmute, turning even a master mage to stone, and possibly being able to turn another powerful mage into wind. He turned the lightning element Inouva into a humanoid being, and at his request returned him to his true form. He also brainwashed Lafarga into serving him showing he can control the minds of others. 

Besides that in terms of magic Zagato can cover himself in a dark energy aura and a shield capable of blocking attacks from all 3 magic knights at once.  He also has several named magic attacks including "Shadow Impact Lexus" which fires a dark electrical orb at enemies, "Silver Death Strike Diablo" which creates a massive explosion, and "Stratos Night Explosion" which attacks with two spirals of dark energy.

In addition to being a skilled warrior and mage, Zagato is skilled at stealth and manipulation. He was stealthy enough that supposedly only Guru Clef and his magic could have detected him, and he is skilled enough at manipulation to trick others into serving his wills.

An OBD-Style Profile for Zagato:

Name: Zagato

Origin: Magic Knight Rayearth

Classification: Dark Lord, Knight, Mage

Powers and Abilities: Enhanced Stats, Superhuman Will, Creation, Matter Transmutation, Brainwashing, Forcefield Creation, Magical Aura, Elemental Projection (Electricity, Darkness), Energy Projection, Force Projection, Summoning (Rune God), Resistance to a number of haxes via will

Weakness: Nothing Notable

Destructive Capacity: Likely City Block Level in Base, Planetary with Rune God

Range: At least several kilometers

Speed: FTL Reactions in Base, FTL with Rune God

Durability: Likely City Block Level in Base, Planetary with Rune God

Lifting Strength: Unknown

Striking Strength: Class GJ in Base, Class NJ with Rune God

Stamina: Superhuman 

Standard Equipment: Armor

Intelligence: Above Average, Manipulative

So how would he do in other verses?

In DC Comics, Zagato with his Rune God would be roughly on par with the general Teen Superheroes like Superboy and Wonder Girl in the Post-Crisis on continuity due to his planet level and ftl capacity, though due to his magic and hax abilities he would likely be on the upper end of this tier. While his haxes would likely work on people above his tier, he would struggle due to power difference. His base form would be a perfectly decent streetleveler, though his hax and high reaction speed would make him relatively dangerous for one

In Marvel Comics, Zagato with his Rune God would rank roughly on the level of High Metas like The Thing and Alpha Level Mutants, though he's be more hax and a bit faster then mots of them. He would not be very likely to do well against any of even the lower herald level entities however, being weaker not just in stats and haxes.

Zagato's base form would be a dangerous threat at street level with his high reaction speed and haxes, though top tier marvel street level humans would be significantly stronger. 

In Wedding Peach, Zagato would be roughly on par with the High to Top Tiers. He would be able to have a very fair fight with any one of the Super Love Angels with one of the sacred 4. Assuming he can affect them, he could also fairly fight any of the Stronger Demons in the series. That said he would not have the versatility and have slightly lesser power then Queen Reine Devilla or Sacred 4 Wedding Peach, meaning he would be below the God Tiers. 

In the Cardcaptor Sakura series, part of the same CLAMP Multiverse technically, Zagato would place interestingly. He would be much stronger then any individual Clow Spirit due to being more raw powerful then all but 2 of them, The Light and The Dark, and so fast only the fastest, The Dash would be able to keep up. He also has powerful magic abilities and manipulation would get him far in the verse. That said the strong CCS Mages have resistance to magic eclipsing him and while he would be able to beat Part 1 Sakura, Part 2 Sakura, Eriol, or any of the Clow Guardians restored to their true forms should be able to beat him in a one on one fight, though for one of the Clow Guardians it would be fairly even. Sakura likely befriends him though.

In the Madoka-verse, Zagato would be a relative powerhouse for most of the universe (though Madoka has a rather extreme power jump). None of the "normal" magical girls have the speed to blitz base Zagato or the ability to resist his haxes, even if they have raw power on his base state. That said his Rune God state would be effectively a god tier to most of them, as it would be able to solo Ultimate Walpurgisnacht, being able to resist it's haxes and destroy it in a few attacks. That said he would obviously not be able to do anything to Kami Madoka or Akuma Homura. The Incubators would likely want to try and harness his willpower to see if it can help prevent entropy and given the degree of advanced-ness for their civilization, it's possible they could succeed.

In Sailor Moon, would be a relevant threat for the prequel in his base form and for the first arc in his Rune God Form but would eventually just get out-stated. In Codename Sailor V, he actually has reflexes to not get blitzed by anyone, and his stats would be strong if not super broken or out of the ordinary for the verse. He'd stick out like a sore thumb if the mostly silly Codename: Sailor V but statwise he would fit right in, having power about on par with a Dark Agency Member. 

His Rune God Form would be somewhere around the level of Kunzite from Sailor Moon, and so be a relevant threat for a good part of the first arc, even near the end where he would be outpowered, his hax would still be significant enough that he could be a credible threat. 

Making good female characters

Hi! There was a bit of a buzz on the internet I noticed lately of people arguing what it means to be a good female character, as opposed to just a good character. Obviously speaking, one can understand that it's harder to write for a group you are not a part of, but most writers do have faith that while it's harder it's certainly not un-doable, after all writers don't just write themselves all the time, they have to write people different to them in all sorts of ways; age, philosophy, lifestyle, economic background etc. Gender doesn't seem to be any more differentiating then any of those.

So this is my advice to male writers on how to write female characters in 3 steps.

1: Balancing Femininity
This step is the longest to explain but the shortest to actually do and honestly if your characters air kind of on the simpler side, it's probably all you need in my opinion.

If you look up guides on how to write female characters you'll find two diametrically opposed bits of advice all the time. The reason why it seems to me is when you're writing female characters their is two things that can go drastically wrong, two opposite problems, and each of these bits of advice are meant to help stop one of the two big problems, whichever extreme the person in question seems to think is a bigger problem. What are these two big problems?

A: Female Caricature:
This is especially prevalent in series where there is only 1 female major character, but this is when the character's personality is basically just "girl". She acts in girly ways 100% of the time. Worse-still this character is often annoying, a negative caricature of femininity that is vapid and annoying to the male cast and male audience.

Obviously if your character's personality is just "girl" then that is not just unrealistic, it's contradictory since there are stereotypes about women that are completely opposite (we are supposedly more materialistic then boys, caring about appearances, fashion, jewelry etc.) while also being wiser and less prone to materialism. No singular woman can be expected to fit every feminine stereotype.

Series made for women will occasionally have this problem, having a male character whose whole personality is just "boy", though I find often there is less of this problem.

B: The "Man with Boobs"
The other problem is the opposite extreme, where the character could be exchanged with a male and there would be absolutely nothing different, the character has no connection to their femininity at all.

Men and women do statically have some different traits on average, though obviously there are exceptions and it's only notable on a massive scale. In addition most women feel some connection to being a woman and will generally enjoy it, in the same way I imagine most men enjoy the feeling of being masculine.

If I'm honest, I personally dislike this problem more then the above. I greatly enjoy female signifiers, and a series trying to make a female character strong by making her more masculine (let alone the very limited version of masculinity often presented where being strong is just violence and a confrontational nature) seems a denigration of femininity which to me is more of an insult then a character who is just a stereotype of females.



So both of these problems are bad, and if I'm honest I think the solution to solving them is pretty simple. If you're making a female character, think of traits you stereotypically associate with being feminine. Then have the character possess 2-3 "feminine" traits and subvert 1-2 "feminine" traits. Depending on how major a character this is, you can change the number of traits if you like but I find a general proportion between 3-1 to 2-2 (1-1) is generally a good proportion. This is generally how you get a female character that feels real. Maybe the girl reads romance novels all the time and is very romantic but also watches sports. Maybe she likes to go shopping a lot and is a complete sucker for chocolates but is also a pragmatic down to earth person whose not very emotional. Maybe she loves cute animals and has a strong maternal vibe to her, but is studying to be a scientist or another STEM field.

If I may use myself as an example. I get very emotional and am fairly sensitive. I love pretty things and cute things. I love chocolate and sweet foods. I love romance, and would consider myself very romantic in temperament. I am a domestic girl that likes to keep things clean and neat. My friends consider me very maternal due to my nurturing personality. That said I have some boyish interests (like superhero series for instance), I can be rather direct and to the point, not liking small talk. Despite not liking conflict, I can be kind of confrontational. I am not very much a detail person and I am terrible at makeup (I always get makeup in my eye, it really stings).

My point is, if you want to avoid both extremes, it's really as simple as giving your character some traits that make her feel like a woman, but not trying to make the exact embodiment of everything woman ever.

This could be all you need really, but in case you wanna go deeper...

Step 2: The Feminine Ideal
Let's say you want a "deep" character who is also female, and you want these two things to intersect. No problem!

Every person has what we might call a "human ideal", a belief on what humans should do and should be. This is generally influenced by upbringing, philosophy, and life experiences. Along with these people generally have "masculine ideals" for what men should be like and "feminine ideals" for what women should be like. A masculine ideal might be a complete gentleman who holds doors for ladies, who stands when they enter the room etc. or it could be a pick-up artist whose primary goal is to get women to sleep with him. It depends on the individual what they think a man or woman should do and should be.

It's important to recognize that these ideals are often not fully conscious, they can be partially or fully subconscious. They can also be irrational or something the individual doesn't rationally agree with but can't shake.

If you look at most "deep" female characters who femininity relates to their female nature, their deepness seems to generally come from the relation between how they are and their feminine ideal. Let's say you have a character whose feminine ideal is pure and proper. Good girls don't do any of that naughty business with the boys until marriage and even then for the sole purpose of procreation. If an individual with said feminine ideal had sex with a man for fun, she would feel massive guilt for not living up to her own feminine ideal. Or if she saw other women doing that, she might judge them internally and think less of them. On the other hand, if a woman's feminine ideal is sexually confident and very unrestrained, and she is a shy mess around hot guys, she might internally loath herself for not being able to take charge of her sexuality. Imagine putting those two in a room together, instant "deep" conflict.

Every woman has a feminine ideal and compares herself to it often, and not just that judges other women generally by the same metric. While I can't say for certain, I suspect men are similar in that they probably judge themselves compared to their masculine ideal, as well as other men. If a man attacked a woman for no reason, a lot of men would find this act even more despicable then if a man attacked another man for no reason, since many men have as part of their masculine ideal that men should be protective of women.

"Deep" feminine characters are generally characters who have some kind of conflict between their feminine ideal and their actual self, and this conflict drives them in some way.

To create a feminine ideal is trickier then the former step, because there's no universally agreed source for where we get our conceptions of what person should do and be. In general, it would be good to show social pressures, oftentimes from parents or colleagues to showcase it's forming.

Step 3: When in doubt, look to reality
If you're still in doubt, a good way to help is to loosely base your character off someone you've known and ask yourself "what would she do in this situation? What would she say in this situation?". Believe it or not, most women are realistic depictions of women ;)

You can also do this in a different way. If you're wondering what a female character would do or say, you can think of what a lot of women you've known might do or say in that situation and get a sort of general average, an aggregate answer. It's even better if you do that with men you've known and compare the two so you can see the difference.




You can go even deeper if you want, looking into mythology and folklore for general feminine archetypes and such to cement your study in the world of Jungian archetypes and such, delving more into the psyche. That said I think this works as a general advice guide on how to write a good female character.

How they compare: Aa'une the Oligarch

In the world of Perim, 4 tribes battled for supremacy, each looking for the mystical "Cothica", an unnamed power that caused the world. However the one thing they could agree on doing since time immemorial was defending the Doors of the Deepmines. Behind the doors of the deepmines was the aquatic M'arillian tribe, a species of psychic creatures that wished to flood the world of Perim to gain supremacy. Chief among them was their Oligarch, Aa'une. 

Aa'une manipulated events so as to restore himself to full power by the legendary Lake Blakeer and nearly took over all of Perim. 

 

Aa'une's power is absolutely insane, listed at 200 in Power, Courage, Wisdom AND Speed when most other creatures in Perim get only very rarely get above 100. This means he easily scales to the top tier feats of the verse. This includes Mipedian Warbeasts which are implied to turn forests into deserts and devastate the wasteland, the attack Allmaggedon which can accidentally destroy an entire town and forest, and the Danian assimilated Nunk'wurn which can supposedly crumble mountains.

Speedwise, Aa'une scales to the Mipedian Warbeast Ere which can traverse the Mipedian desert that covers the Overworld in seconds as well as Ninren which is stated to be made of lightning and just as quick. This would easily put him at MHS speeds.

Aa'une has a number of abilities. He is one of the most powerful water manipulators in the verse, and is implied to be a M'arillian Fluidmorpher, a being that can use their water to remove life energy and convert it into magic potential for mugic (magical music). His body is naturally very adaptable and malleable. 

What's most famous of him however is his psionic abilities. Aa'une's psionics can easily encompass cities that are a fair distance away. Aa'une also is the source of the psionics of all the M'arillians and when his power was neutralized thy all lost their psionic brainwashing abilities, suggesting he also has the mind reading and memory erasure abilities that other M'arillians have demonstrated. 

Beyond this Aa'une has his powerful wit as a weapon. He is smarter then characters that can invent mech suits and other hyper-advanced technology and he is a good manipulator.

Aa'une:

Name: Aa'une the Oligarch

Origin: Chaotic

Classification: M'arillian Chieftan, Psychic Overlord

Powers and Abilities: Enhanced Stats, Shapeshifting, Water Manipulation, Potentially Lifeforce Draining, Mental Manipulation

Weaknesses: Lake Blakeer charged with negative energy, shapeshifters that can copy his stats exactly, plot contrivances

Destructive Capacity: At least City Level

Range: At least hundreds of kilometers with mental manipulation

Speed: Massively Hypersonic

Durability: At least City Level

Lifting Strength: Unknown

Striking Strength: At least Class PJ

Stamina: High

Standard Equipment: None

Intelligence: Super-Genius Level

So how would he do in other verses?

In the DC Universe, Aa'une could be a very major threat, regardless of era, due to his stealthy nature and ability to cause havoc via manipulation. That said he would very likely come into contact with Aquaman at some point who would beat him due to similar speed, similar to greater psionics and greater power. That said while Aquaman would beat him (or control him possibly) as he beats Cthulhu on a regular basis, without him Aa'une would cause a major amount of problems for the DC Earth.

In the Marvel Universe, Aa'une would be more destructive in the short run compared to DC, but less so in the long run. It is far more likely Aa'une could manipulate Namor, or simply avoid him then he could Aquaman, and he could cause similar amounts of potential trouble if left unchecked. That said Marvel has more active psychics, so it's likely he could be sensed and stopped after a larger initial rampage without being able to go on any kind of greater rampage.

In the Yu-gi-oh verse Aa'une would be weaker then most strong Duel Monsters in terms of raw power, that said his mind manipulation abilities would be completely unmatched in terms of potency in the verse. Unless he is stopped quickly he could become a major threat, that said if he is ever detected or found out any monster could likely quickly speedblitz him before he could manipulate his brainwashed puppets into protecting him. If he plays his cards right he could do massive damage to the verse and nearly solo, however he likely could not fully solo as the Egyptian Gods would likely be able to resist his brainwashing due to their ability to negate weaker powers like the spirit that tried to possess Osiris. 

In the Pokemon-verse, Aa'une would be about on par with Pseudo-Legendaries like Charizard and would be easily considered a Water/Psychic Type. While he could easily take part of the world as his own domain and be respectable especially how strong his psychic power is and how intelligent he is, given the prevalence of super-intelligent pokemon as well as psychic types that could detect him, it's unlikely he could do much more then that unless he strategies very very well. Probably just becomes a Movie Villain. 

In Magic: The Gathering, Aa'une could likely easily take over his own plane, being a fairly strong creature relatively speaking, but still much weaker then even a neo-planeswalker. His psychic power however would be comparable to a Blue Planeswalker and if he had a planeswalker spark he would likely awaken as an extremely powerful Blue Planeswalker. 

While Aa'une was clearly inspired by the Cthulhu Mythos, if put into the verse he would not do very well. He's not even as fast as fodder tiers, and while he could likely beat basic monstrous fodder and low tiers like Shoggoths, Deep Ones and so forth, he would still not be nearly strong enough to fight a great old one like Cthulhu let alone a stronger being like an archetype or an Outer God. That said he probably would become king of the Deep Ones and take over the planet during Cthulhu's slumber.