Death Prediction: Magicka Wizards vs Castle Crashers (Collaboration with Thor Gunderson 1058)

Hello, I am Imperator100, and I’m ThorGundersen1058 and wah, a collab? Geez it’s been forever.

This is my first time doing one personally, but Thor has certainly been invaluable in helping me with doing something like this. We are here to collab because of our various expertise on two fictional series….two series of the utmost grandeur and seriousness, and who’s elite squads just demanded to be put against each other...in a fight that is sure to be the most professional and no-nonsense fight of all time.  

Well said Imp, these two groups have accomplished many of the most impressive feats ever seen in there super, super serious worlds and made names for themselves as the A-Teams of their organization, nothing is impossible for them, not even slaying monsters with food items and destroying civilizations because they were in the way.

These two groups are some of the most powerful forces in Medieval history and at the end of the day this match will change it forever.

Background/Personality

Magicka Wizards:

“Stay awhile and listen, and I will tell you a story. A story of Dungeons and Dragons, of Orc and Goblins, of Ghouls and Ghosts, of Kings and Quests, but more importantly.... Of Wizards and Vamp….well, a story of Wizards”

So begins the epic tale of the Wizards of Aldreheim, the prime students of Vlad….who is most definitely NOT a vampire. Together these 4 most excellent students, the greatest wizards in the land set off on a series of adventures and general mish-mash of tasks assigned by Vlad.

When Grimnir the Dark Lord attempted to summon Assatur the King in Yellow to destroy the entirety of Midgard, the Wizards were there.

When Cthulhu nearly arose when the stars were left, the Wizards plunged him back into the seas of Ry’leh.

When the Chosen Child born of the Magical War of all the lands threatened to unite the land in perfect peace, they were there to make sure that war would always reign forth.

When Vlad set them to Vietnam they single-handedly changed the war….by drawing the whole world into it.

…….

Ok sometimes they caused…..a few problems. But together they survived the most perilous of battles and saved the world many times over. And it would never be possible without a team of the most brilliant minds that Aldreheim had to offer…...like Yellow Wizard………

Yellow Wizard is the party noob and buffoon, comically inexperienced and with the worst plans ever. He also just has terrible luck. That said, he will often get the team out of scrapes just by coming up with plans so stupid no one else would EVER think of them.

Yellow Wizard is mostly kept in check by Blue Wizard. Calm and rational, Blue Wizard likes to experiment with magic and find new spells and tricks, but is mostly in charge with making sure the others don’t get themselves killed by rushing in with no plan.

But when a true hero is needed….Red Wizard will be there! ...Also when an arrogant and foolhardy meat shield is needed, Red Wizard will also be there to charge head-first into conflict and claim all the glory he can get his hands on.

And finally rounding out the team is Green Wizard. Lazy but Charming, Green would rather be at a fun party then a big combat, though if he needs to get involved he’ll summon up walls so he doesn't have to work as hard and summon up buddies to help him out.

This team may have their fair share of problems, including random bouts of killing each other and reviving each other, but when push comes to shove they will band together and defeat even the craziest, most abstract, most powerful, and most movie-referencing bad guys ever. And then they spent 40 years eating wine, cheese and sausage together. Because they may not be motivated by gold, survival instincts, morality, or any future planning, but don’t you mess with their wine, cheese and sausage.

Castle Crashers:

Once upon a time there was a group of incredibly badass knights with Magical powers. These beings were so much more powerful than the conventional knights that there had to be a new rank invented just for them, a rank with more commanding power than generals, a rank that needs no scouts, a rank that sees more action than the front lines. This is the rank of Castle Crasher.

The Castle Crashers are the king’s elite unit of powerful magic warriors specializing in breaching and destroying enemy Castles, slaying giant monsters, and single handedly taking on missions one would normally need thousands of knights to pull off. The best of these elite super warriors consists of the 4-man squad of Red Knight, Orange Knight, Blue Knight & Green Knight.

When these knights weren't saving the day, they were living it up at the Castle, everyone loved them, especially their beloved girlfriends, the princesses, they were the life of every party, that is until….They Were Crossed. One Day an Evil Wizard had come to the kingdom and stole the King's magic crystals that granted the kingdom prosperity.

With him he brought the knights Rival, the Barbarians who laid siege to the knights kingdom and kidnapped the 4 princesses for good measure.

The Wizard escaped as the Castle Crashers sprung into action, single handedly suppressing the barbarian invasion and managing to rescue the Red princess, unfortunately the other 3 were stolen by a band of thieves. Who then sold each of them to a different powerful king across the world.

The knights fought their stormed his evil Palace, killed everyone including the Wizard and saved the last princess and the crystal.

Upon returning to the kingdom the Castle Crashers and the Princesses were wed at last.

And of course they did when they have a charmer as fun and goofy but also strong and heroic as Orange Knight, he is truly the heart of the team, defending all innocents and even animals from injustice but is always down to goof around and have fun.

Luckily he has Red Knight to keep him focused. Red is the team's badass leader, always first into battle, always calling the shots. Daring and Fearless he is ready to take on whatever threat comes his way.

Blue Knight is the team’s tactician, calm calculating and focused solely on completing the objective. He is prepared for anything in battle.

While this may not be Red or Orange’s style, Green Knight agrees with this method though will also use dirty tricks and cheap tactics to get the upper hand on his foes. He also is impulsive and impatient.

The CC have traveled the world, fighting practically every type of warrior, giant Greek mythological monsters, demons, dragons, aliens, robots, zombies and tons more. One would be hard pressed finding heroes with more pure determination than them.

Powers/Skills

Magicka Wizards:

As you might expect the Wizard’s primarily power and skill is their knowledge of magic. In terms of strict skill Blue, Red, and Green Wizards are all roughly comparable in their magical abilities while Yellow is…...not, though has a deftness for coming up with bizarre ways around problems.

Magicka Wizards gain their abilities by combining up to five mana of up to 8 elements to cast spells or to use spell magical abilities called “Magicka”. These 8 elements are the conceptual building-blocks of the multiverse and the Wizards of the multiverse have an essential role in keeping it all moving. Every time a wizard uses one element magicka, it causes the opposite one to emerge somewhere in the multiverse which is the very reason there is chaos, imbalance, and overall mixture in the first place. The elements they can manipulate:

• Dust: If a Mage tries to cast with no elements it’ll just shoot a bunch of dust. As one

very wise wizard put it, “gets in your eyes, very very painful”

• Life: Called a verdant beam of “pure life”, Life stimulates the rejuvenation of life,

healing the wounds of the living and curing poisons. It can also hurt the dead, even managing to hurt Death itself, the very concept. It is in fact the only thing that can hurt Death….along with Bees.

• Death: The opposite of life, Death is an entropic energy that peels back order and

causation itself

• Earth: Creates boulders or shifts the Earth below, one very powerful mage is

described as having moved a hill in combat with Earth Magic. The Magicka Wizards given their extreme skill, should be in a similar league.

• Lightning: Creates a high-voltage electrical charge capable of powering generators

and make electrical machines like a ferris wheel spin without end in defiance of Newton’s laws of motion. A Wet mage can’t use lightning, it will just zap them

• Water: Creates a surge of water, as you might imagine makes things wet
• Cold: Chills foes, and freezes wet ones, Cold magic is described as the absolute

absence of heat, and is powerful enough to freeze segments of lava or freeze whole rivers and lakes

• Fire: Heats things up, creating a fire. One powerful wizards’ heat was compared to

“The Heart of Muspelheim” suggesting fire magic can be as hot as lava. Fire and Cold Magic perfectly cancel each other out.

• Shield: Creates a magical bubble that blocks attacks. Shield is powerful enough to

protect from a planetary threat like Assatur and from the casual planetary threat, possibly universal threat, Cthulhu.

All of these elements can be normally, cast on the self, or on the area around the self. But where the true potency of Magicka Magic comes in is the combination of elements. Outside of combining elements with their opposites (Life-Death, Fire-Cold, Water-Lightning-Earth, Shield-Itself), any 5 mana can be combined including multiple of the same.

This can create a vast amount of possibilities to explore. Meteors, Rock Armor, Ice Bolts, Water Walls, Mines that freeze, electrify, and throw the enemy (the famous ARSE mines), healing auras, aura of immunity (or absorption) against elements etc.

It is through understanding the elements on an intuitive way that the Wizards are so skilled at magic, understanding the subtle nuances of the elements and the ways they work together to form the world, the Wizards can instinctively know what element is needed in each situation.

Of course, when the Elements are not enough themselves, there is also another way they can be cast. Every element combination can be Magicka Cast if the Wizard knows the invocation for it’s unique Magicka, a new power whose traits are informed by the elements used to cast it.

• Healing Magic:
• Revive:

One of the Easiest Magics to cast in the game. Resurrects a fallen Magicka Wizard right next to you, even if their body is completely destroyed.

• Midsummer's Blessing:

Creates a Statue that heals nearby people.

• Guardian:

Increases The Wizards' Regen Rate and revives one when it runs out

• Elemental Magic:
• Conflagration:

Creates a Wall of Flame that Panics enemies hit by it

• Propp's Party Plasma:

Originally intending to invent a "fun for the family" Magicka, Propp accidentally created a very powerful and unpredictable spell. It shoots plasma into the air which then crashes down randomly. Capable of killing Cthulhu.

• Geyser:

Causes water to spurt from the ground distracting an opponent and sending them up high.

• Tidal Wave:

Shoots a large wave knocking back people and hitting them with deadly piranhas.

• The Wave:

Shoots a Wave of rock that knocks enemies into the air

• Judgement Spray:

Fires a spray of homing ice particles

• Stone Prison:

Locks an opponent in a barrier of stone that no wizard can escape from for a few seconds

• Push:

Creates a gust of air that pushes things.

• Tractor Pull:

The Opposite of Push, draws things close to you

• Chain Lightning:

Creates an electrical shock that moves from target to target

• Grease:

Creates a greases splotch that is all slippery and also really flammable.

• Weather Magic:
• Thunder Bolt:

Calls down a Bolt of Lightning

• Thunderhead:

Conjures a storm cloud that wets all underneath it and periodically zaps one target beneath with lightning

• Tornado:

Creates a Tornado

• Ice Tornado:

Icy Variation of Tornado

• Highlander Breeze:

Creates giant freezing winds that freeze and damage enemies

• Rain:

Calls down Rain

• Blizzard:

Calls down a Blizzard that freezes all water on the level

• Mighty Hail:

Creates a Hailstorm. If an ice chunk hits a being, it freezes them and if it hits them again it shatters them.

• Thunder Storm:

Summons a Thunderstorm

• Meteor Shower:

Creates a Meteor Shower

• Spike Quake:

Causes Earth Spikes to pop out from the ground to try and spear enemies. It also creates lots of dust which can push enemies around.

• Mobility Magic:
• Haste:

Speeds up the Wizard to the point that other wizards have difficulty perceiving them in the 9th Element.

• Performance Enhancement:

Grants the Wizard a shield, speed increase and damage bonus. Damage and speed bonuses expire first, and speed is then decreased until the shield expires. Speed Stacks with Haste.

• Levitation:

Allows the Wizard to simply levitate in the air.

• Invisibility:

Makes one invisible so long as they don't touch anything or use a spell

• Mental Magic:
• Confuse:

Causes the target disorientation and all their powers work in reverse

• Fear:

Causes opponents to run away helplessly.

• Charm:

Temporarily makes an opponent fight for you

• Summoning Magic:
• Raise Dead:

Summons Zombies to fight for the caster.

• Summon Elemental:

Summons an Elemental which the Wizard can charge as any elemental type, save for Earth and Shield

• Nature's Call:

Calls down a house to crush an opponent for being a witch and then summons two imps to help fight.

• Napalm:

Calls in a Napalm Strike

• Dragon Strike:

Calls a Dragon to breathe fire on the enemy

• Furious Fowl:

Calls a Flock of Birds which explode on hitting an enemy damaging and wetting them

• Summon Phoenix:

Calls a Phoenix which does fire damage to nearby people and resurrects recently died Wizards

• Summon Death:

Summons the Grim Reaper who kills the person with lowest health

• Spacetime Magic:
• Teleport:

Teleports a Person. Vlad possess a stronger version called "Portus" which can teleport people through time and between realms

• Portal:

Creates an Orange and Blue Portal like that game.

• Town Portal:

Creates a portal to Castle Aldreheim. Note, always calls the Wizards back to Castle Aldreheim in their own time and so can provide limited time travel

• Time Warp:

Slows Time to a Crawl. Haste and Time Warp cancel each other out.

• Corporealize:

Makes Intangible Beings Tangible

• Crash to Desktop:

Causes a random being to be removed from reality

• Vortex:

Originally the Most Powerful Spell, Vortex makes an infinite singularity and a hole in reality to an infinite space in the multiverse. The Singularity grows with each thing it consumes and get smaller every moment it's not consuming.

• Magicka-Meta-Magic:
• Abuse-a-Scroll:

Casts a Random Spell

• Nullify:

Removes all Magic, Status Effects and Damage currently around.

• Disruptor:

Unable to cast spells or move for a few moments. Anyone who tries to use a power on you at the time will have that power canceled and the power removed from their being, turning into a ball of energy that anyone can pick up. Said to be the most powerful Magick, more so than even Vortex.

Besides Magical Training the Wizards as past of Aldreheim Wizard School Classes regularly go through deadly obstacle courses to train up their quick thinking and agility.

Castle Crashers:

The Castle Crashers have fought and killed hundreds of foes with numerous different fighting styles, they are experts in Hand to Hand, Sword and other various weapons combat, in addition to Archery, Acrobatics, Mountain climbing and even Dancing. They are skilled in Travel and are Expert Trackers able to follow foes that go to other parts of the freaking world. They are also smart enough to spot and outfox the stealthy thieves and tough enough to resist high amounts of poison and blood loss.

But the knights aren’t purely physical badasses, they have mastered tons of magic powers as well.

Red Knight’s power of choice is his Electrokinesis, the ability to create and manipulate Lightning and Electricity and can use these to launch himself dozens of feet, fire balls of lightning for projectiles and even blast steady streams of electricity from his hands which travel through the air at ⅓ the speed of light.

Orange Knight has Pyrokinesis, which lets him create and manipulate fire and explosions to jump explosively into the air, create enormous waves of fire and precisely blast fireballs from his hands.

Moving on to the knight with the resting Blue Steel face, Blue Knight’s rocking Cryokinesis, the power to generate and manipulate ice and cold to summon large amounts of 10 foot ice cicles from the sky to rain down on his opponent, just touching any of these attacks will incase the the foe in ice, sometimes freezing them solid.

Lastly there is Green who wields the power of Toxokinesis, the ability to control poisons and acids, these chemical combinations can be used in 3 ways, creating explosions that launch Green skyward, creating a cloud of toxins that obscures a foes vision and poisons their lungs and firing acid projectiles which splash and corrode foes. Exposure to any of these turns the foe green and eats away at their health over time till they die and eventually dissolve.

The Knights can also magically teleport mid distances at high speeds, physically beat Logia users to death with Anti-Logia Hax, Revive each other from death as bad as decapitation through simple CPR, resist Transmutation at a high level,

And even freaking fly through the air at massively hypersonic speeds like a goddamn missile!

Equipment

Magicka Wizards:

The Wizard's wear special colored robes. These explicitly give no actual abilities besides showing the world that they are wizards. While there are many robes in the Magicka World that give special abilities the greatest wizards in the world like the player wizards wear basic robes to show their lack of need for such crutches.

Similarly while there are staves that grant special abilities, the Wizards use basic magic staves that grant the ability to cast spells and nothing else:

"Each held the basic wooden wizard staff issued by the Order of Magick to its members-nothing fancy, just an inch-thick length or spruce or pine, sanded smooth. The order bought its' staves in bulk from master carver Mani One-Thumb, who topped each staff with his trademark half-moon 'catcher', hand-carved and soundly fitted to the shaft. The catcher is the focus for a wizard's channeling of elements into spells. In the crook of each wooden half-moon flicked a ball of blue-white elemental light indicating an active staff ready for spellcasting."

-The 9th Element, Page 12

The Wizards each also carry a normal sword, but have little experience using them, and while Magicka 2 gives other various items and pets...it is unknown exactly what the Wizards would pick, but given their usage of basic everything else to show their skill in spellcasting, it is most likely they would choose nothing not seeing the need for such things.

Castle Crashers:

The Knights have no ‘Standard’ weapon or orb, even when starting the game the weapon and orb your knight gets as default is random so we’re gonna be going with what we feel are their best and most thematic.

Red Knight’s Lightning Bolt Blade gives him a 12% increase in electrical power. To top this off the blade itself is lightning imbued meaning it can surround itself in electricity for a shockingly enhanced strike.

Orange Knight’s Demon Sword increases physical Strength, Agility, and of course Fire attacks by 8%. The Blade can also ignite itself on fire for flame enhanced strikes, because of course it can.

Blue Knight’s Ice Sword increases Blue’s Cryomantic abilities by 8% and has the ability to encase enemies in ice upon contact.

Lastly Green Knight’s Ninja Claw Saber increases the potency of his poison by 12%, and makes him 20% faster. The blades of the sword are also coated in poison which eats away at the foes health after striking.

Health Potions fully restore the Knights health regardless of their condition before drinking, all that matters is they are still alive. Each knight can carry up to 5 of these at once.

Each knight carries a Bow and a never-ending supply of Arrows to bombard enemies with, at their peak the Knights can each fire as many as 7 arrows per second.

Shields while in use cut the Knight’s speed into ¼ but make them invulnerable to anything in game that hits it.

Bombs are awesome projectile weapons that blast foes across the screen and ignite them on fire, each knight can carry 9 of them at a time.

Oh yeah here we go, the Sandwich, also known as Beefy Sandwich, PB&Jacked and Manwich, is an item that each knight can carry up to 9 of at a time.

Upon eating a sandwich the Knights HULK OUT and beat the snot out of enemies and with melee attacks using their drastic strength and durability boost that lasts for 10 seconds.

Boomerangs can not only damage a foe but also stuns them for a brief period, the Knights are so accurate with this weapon they can hit and stun whole groups of enemies in a single throw and have the boomerang pick up and retrieve items for them.

The knights primarily use shovels to dig for lost items, however these could of course also be used to dig trenches, bury traps and attack near foes with a digging uppercut.

Horns produce high decibel sonic blasts that launch enemies skyward and can snap the knights out of a boomerang induced daze.

Hawkster attacks foes and steals their food for Red Knight to use to regenerate his health. Additionally Hawkster can enhance his attacks by mimicking the effects of the Knight’s melee weapon, including electricity.

Troll grants Orange Knight a minor Healing factor that lets him gain back 1% of his health every 8 seconds, he can heal from death’s door in less time than it takes to cook a pizza.

Yeti makes Blue Knight immune from being frozen in ice.

Bitey Bat occasionally attacks and sucks the blood of enemies adding the health they lose to Green Knight's own in vampiric fashion.

Feats

Magicka Wizards:

Strength:

• When a Wizard couldn’t remove the sword from the stone, instead carried the entire large stone with the sword in it slung over his back to hit his opponents with as a club

• Magicka Wizards are easily able to carry giant Space Marine Power Armor on them, and even charge while wearing them
• They can punch each other and do very small amounts of damage

Speed:

• Traveled across an entire mountain range, including going up and down long passages underground in minutes, while fighting through an entire civilization all along the way
• Can physically dodge and block lightning from other Wizards

• Can fight Lightning Elements who are made of lightning mana and who attack with lightning
• Can dodge “shooting stars” coming from outer space called by Dagon, and even move in the same frame as them

Durability:

• Tanked an airship crash
• Were launched into the top of a tower making it explode and were perfectly fine
• Can survive briefly against the magic of other wizards
• Tuonetar, a weaker wizard, survived falling all the way from the world of the living to the world of the dead

Skill:

• Are Vlad’s Finest Students
• Solo-ed the Entire Orcish Army
• Destroyed the entire Goblin civilization for being in the way
• Defeated Vlad twice and Vlad was comparable to Grimnir the Dark Lord
• Defeated Grimnir Twice, the second time with Assatur’s backup, and Grimnir was the greatest wizard in the world at the time
• Slew Jormungandr, the World-Serpent that protects The Tree of Life
• Slew Parker, Lord of the Underworld
• Defeated Death itself
• Defeated Fafnir, A Powerful Dragon and Magic Master comparable to Vlad and Grimnir
• Defeated Assatur, the King in Yellow, an Eldritch being from the Ethereal Realm who wanted to absorb all of Midgard into it, sending him back to his own realm
• Fought Cthulhu and Dagon at the same time
• Defeated and Killed Cthulhu causing all of Ry’leh to crumble
• Defeated the Chosen Child, a child with the magical power of the entire Wizard Wars that fundamentally altered the setting and devastated the world, who had nigh-limitless control of dozens of elements, and nearly united the world under the alliance and caused the genocide of all the monstrous races (the goblins, orcs and trolls)
• Defeated the Chosen Child’s Robotic Monster, imbued with her elements to kill enemies to her reign
• Defeated the combined armies of the alliance, combined of the human and dwarven kingdoms, as well as the elves and the powerful magic-users the Vanir
• Single-Handedly changed the Vietnam War
• Their worse classmates defeated the Demon Wurstmacher and his endless horde of minions

Castle Crashers:

Strength:

• Destroyed a Barbarian Tank which plowed through thousands of soldiers like nothing
• Shattered thick stone walls
• Defeated the Barbarian King who could imbed people into the ground and smash through reinforced iron doors

• Their Ground Pounds cause earthquakes that can shake whole distant forests and mountain ranges
• Killed a giant catfish monster that can endure cannon fire

• Killed the giant Troll, a mountain sized monster that causes large earthquakes which span whole forests by walking and shoots lasers from its eyes
• Beat a small sentient Volcano To death while on sandwitch

• Destroyed several Hominid cruisers which are durable enough to tank a nuke and lift pyramids
• Slayed a mountain sized fire breathing dragon
• Can Defeat giant bugs, usually in a single hit

• Killed the Evil Wizard who is so powerful he created an energy storm over an island sized area with such intensity it raised his enormous castle over the clouds

Speed:

• Can Dodge point blank cannon fire
• Outran falling ice cicles

• Can not only dodge lightning but run at a comparable speed
• Swam through over a mile of rapids at speeds comparable to a steamship while in full armor, dodging arrows and fighting sharks, bats and Bunyip’s

• Can Dodge Meteors
• Defeated a hoard of the Alien Hominid Species who can move at speeds fast enough to outrun missiles and bullets

Durability:

• Fought in the Templar Barbarian War which was so intense it caused shockwaves that rippled throughout the mountain range
• Fell off a cliff into rapids completely fine

• Killed The Bear Chief after fighting him and taking several of his wind attacks, The Bear Chief has aerokinesis so powerful he created a storm over the entire horizon in seconds
• Can endure being shot out of catapults and cannons
• Fell an enormous distance that killed all the normal knights they brought, though they all got up fine
• Can endure hot lava
• Shrug off hits from boulders 20 feet in diameter
• Defeated a hoard of the Alien Hominid Species who carry balsters with town level shots
• Tanked the explosion of the Hominid’s building sized ship
• Can endure being frozen and easily escape
• Can take hits from the Evil Wizard
• Can survive bombardment by 7 foot meteors
• Tanked the Evil Wizards defeat which made a shockwave that completely shatters the large castle they fought on

Skill:

• Won the Templar Barbarian war by purging the enemy from their castle, fighting their way through the warzone, taking out the enemy battle tank, single handedly storming and conquering the enemy fortress and defeating the roided-out barbarian king in a battle to the death, all in about 15 minutes
• Outraced a Giant Mountain Sized Troll for a solid mile while improvising rides on deer (One of which was propelling itself with the force of its own terror fueled diarrhea)
• Defeated a 12 foot bloodsucking bat monster than shits pure poison
• Stormed and successfully conquered the coneheads castle, the coneheads are so advanced they have laser grids and lightsabers
• Fought their way through the Cyclops’s castle killing tons of coneheads, demons and the cyclops itself
• Defeated a horde of pyrokinetic demons
• Stormed and conquered the death trap that is industrial castle
• Defeated an army of ninja-pirates in a ship battle and sank them
• Defeated a group of Geokinetic Arab assassins in a game of desert volleyball
• Liberated a village from an army of chlorokinetic Snake Knights
• Battled and slayed Medusa who can spit poison, generate snakes and transmutate foes to stone
• Defeated the Evil Wizards 3 minions back to back, one of which was the Necromancer who in addition to being a powerful badass, summons up every type of foe the CC fought in the game thus far

Weaknesses

Magicka Wizards:

The Magicka Wizards may be primordial forces of nature and great masters of magic, as well as saviors of Midgard many times over, but they have their own set of drawbacks. Firstly they rely on their staves. If those are taken they can no more cast spells. Second, they can’t swim, it’s literally physically impossible for a wizard to be able to swim. But most importantly, the Wizards magic relies on them to become completely forces of nature, without such human concerns as survival or morality. They destroy indiscriminately just as water makes things wet, lightning electrocutes, and fire burns. They act as Midgard’s antibodies to preserve itself from whatever becomes a threat. Because of that they have limited ability to consider their own health or to work together. While they are friendly to each other, when you can so easily revive anything and death is so meaningless, it’s pretty easy fun to get into a random bout of team-killing. They canonically have absolutely terrible social skills. They’re essentially magical nerds. The Wizards will only band together and take things seriously if a clear threat to their safety emerges, but when they do….Look out.

Castle Crashers:

Through all the heroic and badass stuff they do the CC aren’t perfect. They can sometimes be distracted from completing their goal by waves of enemies, they have been known to miss important details, and they care more for the safety of civilians than their own and will put themselves in harm's way to help the innocent every time. Also being honest they are all kinda goofballs.

Summary

Magicka Wizards:

Advantages

• Much more versatile, each having 8 elements to control and able to cast a vast amount of Magickas
• Has a much more reliable resurrection ability, able to resurrect people without their bodies and from any distance away
• Has a number of Magicka that can incapacitate or kill the Knights in one shot fast, such as mind-controlling them with Charm, or sucking them into the singularity of Vortex (which could take more than one at once if they cluster), or soul-reaping them with Summon Death
• Aura can absorb enemy powers of fire, cold and lightning making their elemental powers useless and force fields can protect them from their physical abilities for a time, especially if multiple wizards focus on bubbles
• Can summons waves of enemies, like zombies which would be easy to kill but numerous or the less numerous but harder to kill Elementals, to distract the Knights
• Much less predictable, especially Yellow

Disadvantages

• Much less teamwork and determination to fight until the threat is clear and apparent.
• Somewhat Slower, given that protecting against lightning is tricky but doable for the wizards while the knights move at comparable speeds to lightning
• Much physically weaker, if the knights get in close and the wizards don’t have a personal force field or a teleport spell readied, or something of that nature the wizard is just gonna die instantly
• Worse Training, Castle Aldreheim did train for quick-thinking and surviving harsh environments, but most of their studies were for actually learning magic rather than the more physical nuances of fighting
• Have no direct counter to poison
• Yellow. Just Yellow

Castle Crashers:

Advantages

• Knight’s instantly win every single physical battle that may occur between them as they are significantly more strong and durable with somewhat better speed.
• The Knight’s durability is enough to protect them from any purely damaging Magicka, forcing the wizards to use exclusively hax to damage them
• All of the Knight’s attacks would oneshot an unprotected wizard
• With their flight and teleportation and slightly better speed they can match and exceed the Wizards overall maneuverability
• Green’s Poison attacks are not something the Wizards can easily defend against
• The Knights are much better trained, professional combatants
• Significantly better Teamwork
• Can Physically harm the Wizards elementals

Disadvantages

• The Wizards can revive each other from injuries much more severe than the knights can cause, as long as one Wizard is still alive every one of them is still considered in the fight
• The Wizard’s force fields are durable enough to slow the knights down long enough to cast other spells
• Aura’s would allow the Wizards to absorb and heal from potentially many of the knight’s magic attacks
• The Wizard’s have many hax that could permanently kill the knights in one hit if allowed, extremely dangerous if they start taking advantage of this
• Could be distracted by waves of zombies as knights care more for civilian safety

Alright our combatants are set. It’s time...for a DEATH PREDICTION!

Battle

In the distance of the large village of ‘A Silly Place’ stand four brave champions. The Castle Crashers, having just defeated an army of crab people, rode towards the village in search of food, drink and directions. They swiftly approached the town on their newly improvised Zebra steeds.

Emerging from the forest, four robed individuals merrily came. They were quite at peace and happy after their defeat of Malegolant, the Most High, and sealing him inside the world of darkness, as well as their defeat of Antgolant, the not-quite so high and sealing him inside the pine cone of darkness. Hopefully this little errand for that crazy not-vampire, Vlad, wouldn’t take too long.

The Wizards rejoiced at the town, this meant they were ever closer to the delicious morsels that they so craved… as they went along, they could feel the mana all around them. The stars above radiated the energy of the world…..the stone buildings held latent earth mana, solid and rough and in the town spring held water mana flowing serenely. Hot and Cold mana circled happily in the air all around and there were clearly many sacks of life mana….errrrr…..people wandering around, death mana circling them waiting to take them down below….

The Wizards rejoiced again...a convenient stand selling wine, cheese and sausage happened to be there! What luck! Green Wizard signaled to his companions. He HAD this.

Green Wizard wandered up to the stand acting as innocently and non-suspicious as possible. Red followed eagerly and Blue followed cautiously, having very different expectations of the encounter. Meanwhile Yellow Wizard hung back, ever too curious for his own good, trying new magic combinations.

Green Wizard leaned against the counter putting a copper coin down with a knowing head tilt. The disgruntled salesman pointed to the sign next to him reading “We reserve the right to refuse service to Wizards”. Green brought his hand to his chest as if in shock at the suggestion he could be a wizard before slyly looking the other way and putting a second copper coin down on the first.

Red Wizard, annoyed at all the shenanigans, burst into a fire aura menacingly while Blue looked on disapprovingly.

Suddenly Yellow Wizard rushed up to his friends, excitedly gesturing about a new spell. Blue Wizard braced for whatever was about to happen next. Yellow started casting:

“S-F-A-E…”

Blue Wizard recognized the shield element in combination and knew what was coming. He quickly conjured a shield as Yellow Wizard conjured powerful mines, causing a sudden explosion blasting all the nearby building and sending objects flying, including Yellow Wizard himself.

While Yellow quickly teleported by his companions, large chunks of buildings were taken out by sudden debris flying at hypersonic speeds, causing several smaller buildings to cave inwards and sending civilians running in every which direction. Yellow made a “oops” gesture as the other 3 glared disapprovingly. Green suddenly gestured to the stand’s now vacant-ness and the 4 rejoiced at the chance to get the wine, cheese and sausage.  

Meanwhile…

The Knights arrived at the village entrance, they saw all the happy people doing their jobs, seeing them able to live their lives free from the terror of dragons, barbarians, monsters and the dreaded beekeeper. It’s moments like this that remind them why they do what they do. Suddenly a large fiery explosion occurred a couple blocks down taking out several buildings and causing a blaze.

Three of the knights immediately looked to Orange, who leaned back and gave a gesture as to say ‘it wasn’t me’ and the four dismounted and sprung into action. Blue Knight started dousing the fires with his ice, Orange assisted an elderly woman in evacuation, then came back to rescue her kitten. Red Knight , stopped one of the incoming civilians, who screamed in his face. Green Knight slapped him and he started talking in a weird combination of languages that confused them, till Orange pointed to the translation of “It’s those blasted wizards!, they blew up my stand.”
Upon learning this, Red waved his arm and the Castle Crashers advanced to exterminate this terror.

The Knights ran into the blast area and gazed on in shock at four multi-colored wizards, sitting in the middle of this carnage having a dinner party.

The four Wizards had just sat down to enjoy their delicious wine, cheese and sausages when Blue Wizard gestured downwards. They turned and beheld four similarly rainbow-colored Armored Warriors of unknown type. They looked at each other in confusion before Yellow Wizard waved his hand to suggest he could parlay with them. Taking a piece of sausage as a symbol of peace he got up and approached the strange warriors. Realizing it’s uncooked nature too late, he raised his staff and conjured “F” causing a torrent of flame to head straight for the Knights.

The Knights dodged it swiftly as Red Knight grabbed Yellow Wizard by his robe collar, he then leaned back and headbutted the wizard with such force his head completely exploded, then threw his corpse towards the other wizards landing on the table spoiling their meal.

The Wizards leapt to their feet. These monsters, these horrid creatures, they…..they didn’t like sausage! They must be stopped! Blue Wizard with a simple invocation of “W-E” brought Yellow Wizard back to his side. Blue Wizard’s mind raced with a dozen plans at once, ready for anything. Yellow Wizard had a half of a plan at once, ready for a few things. Red Wizard gripped his sword and staff, already hearing in his mind the exciting legend of how Red Wizard slew these crazy knights. Green Wizard attempted to blend in with the surroundings, hoping to catch them off guard as they dealt with the others.

The Knights all drew their swords in squad formation, Red Knight signaled the others with a hand gesture telling them to perform a maneuver they had practiced many times before as they awaited imminent attack.

Fight!

Emblazoned with anger, Red Wizard quickly cast a fiery aura around himself to burn his foe, throwing himself in the fray with “heroic” abandon. To his left charged Yellow Wizard. Yellow Wizard knew the last thing these guys would expect is a sword fight and so had his sword hilt raised ready to club them with the hilt.

Blue Knight in response, summoned up a large pillar of Ice, raising his group out of the two heathens reach. Red Knight then blasted a powerful electrical beam at the two, Red Wizard managed to bring up a shield in time to deflect it, but Yellow Wizard’s sword attracted it like a lightning rod, frying him into dust.

Blue Wizard and Green Wizard having more elaborate plans quickly teleported away from the immediate battlefield in either direction, preparing a more complex attack.

Seeing this, Red Knight Gave a gesture and the other three knight’s teleported off while he jumped down to deal with the Red Wizard personally.

Red Knight, sword upraised, charged the Scarlet-Clad Wizard. Red Wizard called up some mana when Red Knight blipped out of and into existence directly in front of him. If Red Wizard could grin sadistically, he would. Sadly the programmers had neglected to give him a proper face. Still the cocky head gesture was unmistakable as Red Wizard laid powerful arse mines down, catapulting the two valiant warriors far into the heavens, the clouds incinerating.

In mid-air, Red Knight and Red Wizard looked into each other’s lack of visible facial features and something magical was born. Red Knight moved his muscles the slightest bit and the cold from the mines melted from his body before resuming his assault in mid-air, his sword slicing the air, sending bursts of winds, with blindingly bright lightning screeching through the sky. Meanwhile Red Wizard conjured a series of blazes of inferno, and called forth burning meteors like the deepest pits of Muspelheim. As their fire and lightning met all around them the air exploded over and over

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!!!

Red Wizard and Red Knight, thrown about by explosions both teleported at the same time, blipping into existence right next to each other, their momentum sending them careening into each other. Red Knight’s armor slamming into Red Wizard’s Shield, as they plummeted in a backdrops of a fiery thunderstorm of explosion-clouds, a crimson shooting star.

Fleeing from the battlefield….errrr….making a tactical retreat, Blue and Green Wizard teleported away, only to find the Knights were hot on their tail! Their teleporting allowed them to proceed to maintain similar levels of maneuvering as the Wizards.

Blue Wizard knew his counterpart among the Knights was pursuing him and came up with a crafty plan conjuring a charm of invisibility to make him invisible to the eye. But Blue Knight thought quickly and shot arrows in an arc to cover the area. Blue Wizard, invisible hastily ducked behind a building as arrows whizzed all around him.

Meanwhile Green Wizard simply hadn’t stopped, not wanting to fight two of them at once. Their teleportation led them out to the outskirts of the city, to the trees of the noble forest of “that forest that is next to the city”. In the darkness and shifting shadows of the forest, Green Wizard manages to briefly evade his pursuers. Betting someone had died by now he cast a revive and to his dismay, revived Yellow Wizard. Knowing he needed more help, his staff shined with summoning mana…

Meanwhile, Orange and Green Knights were searching around for the Wizard they were chasing. Orange Knight was looking on and appreciating the beauty of the area while they searched. Green Knight quickly grew frustrated with this though, and wanting to find him soon, slammed his fist on the ground, sending dirt and dust flying, and slamming down the trees revealing the surrounding area.

Green Wizard had his little imp familiars dancing around him, with Yellow awkwardly joining in the dance as Green summoned and enchanted his third elemental when his cover promptly fell down from a huge shockwave. The Two Knights saw their Two Wizard counterparts. Orange Knight gave a little wave, and a frustrated and impatient Green drew his sword menacingly and approached. With a wave of his hand, Green Wizard sent his minions; his elementals, his familiars, AND Yellow Wizard. to attack before summoning up giant stone walls to protect him.

Blue Knight looked over to the commotion and noticed that that foolish Yellow Wizard had returned yet again. Blue Knight then pounded the ground, coating the entire surrounding area in a thick layer of ice in hopes of tripping up his hidden opponent.

Green Knight launched wave after wave of poison from his hands, dousing the ranks of the incoming imp forces as they rapidly deteriorated, fell dead and dissolved. The visibility was being disrupted by the sheer clouds of toxin he was putting out. Suddenly Green Knight was blasted multiple times by the Death elementals floating in the air, launching him backwards where he was quickly surrounded and attacked by imps that avoided his venomous assault, for any Wizard a res would surely be needed, when suddenly Green Knight launched himself out of the dogpile with a toxic explosion, sending him straight for the elementals. The Elementals simply blasted him more thinking themselves not in danger due to their inability to be touched, this proved wrong when Green Knight cleaved them in two.

Blue Knight was launched downhill towards where his teammates were fighting by his invisible foe, he looked on to see Green Knight singlehandedly taking on this army, then saw Orange Knight and Yellow Wizard sitting together just watching this with a bag of popcorn. The invisible Blue Wizard took notice of this too and both Blues yelled at their goofy team mates to fight.

Yellow Wizard drew his stave, Orange Knight his sword, Yellow gazed at Orange’s sword and became lost in thought trying to figure out if it is suppose to be a wolf or a dragon. Orange took advantage and lunged towards the wizard with a stabbing thrust, however Yellow Wizard stepped on his own robe accidently, causing him to fall forward and making Orange miss. Orange was astounded at this clear strategically genius maneuver, Yellow Wizard then smacked Orange upside the head with his stave, shattering the stick to pieces. Orange thinking clearly that must have been a pretend hit, playfully punched Yellow on the shoulder, then winced when he saw this made Yellow’s whole torso explode like a water balloon.
Green Knight commended Orange for taking that wizard down, in response, Orange launched an enormous blaze engulfing all the remaining imps, it also melted Blue Knight’s ice at the top of the hill flooding the area and broadcasting Blue Wizards location with a splash for every step, prompting him to again become visible.
Blue Knight and his two companions stared down Blue & Green Wizard. Green Wizard launched a large amount of grease to trip these Knights up before res-ing Yellow. Shockingly however, the three knights began flying above the ground. Blue Knight soared towards Blue Wizard like a missile but suddenly both Blues were hit by both Reds, who launched into their teammates from offscreen. The Wizards and the Knights gave each other a seemingly long stare-down. This fight was not going to be as easy as first expected.

The Wizards internally wondered what these strange creatures were that didn’t seem to take damage and mentally felt the mana flow around them, considering what Spells could possibly bring them to their knees.

The Knights gripped their weapons more closely, the same thought hung over them like a cloud. These dangerous threats seemed to be able to revive each other at will...if they wanted to put them down they’d need to act with haste.

With a burst of air, the Knights charged the Wizards position. Blue Wizard, thinking it be better to make a tactical retreat at the same time cast the Town Portal Magick and hastily entered. Blue and Red Knights in front followed, expecting everyone else to follow through as well. Red Wizard hastily jumped in the portal to Blue Wizard’s defense before Yellow Wizard casted Nullify, closing the portal and leaving the two groups disconnected.

Yellow Wizard hastily put down mines as Green and Orange Knights charged the two remaining Wizards. This sent Green and Orange Knights flying in the reverse direction and Yellow Wizard’s corpse flying past Green Wizard. Green Wizard, worried decided to magic in some REAL backup.

Green Knight and Orange Knight were launched back through trees before standing up. Orange Knight prepared for another charge, but Green Knight gestured to the sides, indicating a flanking maneuver. They raced through the forest, skirting along the trees, and almost immediately the two wizards came into being, the yellow one recently revived, came into sight again. They both suddenly raised their hand with the casting of magicka. Just at the moment again, a great roar shook the surroundings and a sound like the boom of thunder cracked across the sky. The Two knights looked up before at the same moment a dragon breathed a dragonflame and a F-4 Phantom Jet dropped napalm on their position. The Two Knights were engulfed in flame, smoke and napalm. Orange Knight lifted his hand in the flame, as if in surprise at how not uncomfortable it was. A lightbulb above Green Knight’s head appeared, and suddenly he clutched his chest and raised his arm as if agony. Orange Knight looked at Green Knight in confusion for a second, before understanding what he was doing and pretended to grab his armor, holding him in mock sorrow.

Green and Yellow Wizards has just finished casting their magicka when they heard the blasts of their mighty air support attacks from above right to their side. The believed, far off foes were hit directly to the side of their own position. They both almost jumped in surprise! A surprise attack? These were more clever than the normal monsters. One of them fell down in the flames. “My, how strangely these creatures die” thought Green Wizard “That dead one even still emanates life mana….how strange…” Yellow Wizard meanwhile was thinking about how cool this whole encounter was. The two of them slyly approached Orange Knight when suddenly Green Knight jolted and threw his boomerang, stunning his counterpart the Green Wizard. Yellow Wizard, in panic teleported away. Orange Knight leapt from the flame, stabbing the Green Wizard, and causing him to die. Green Knight quickly joined Orange Knight.

Yellow Wizard, away, was inspired by the enemies’ stunning tactic and thought to take inspiration. He began casting another magicka.

Green and Orange Knight knew they had to hurry before that other Wizard revived his teammate when they felt strong gusts of wind. They looked and saw a mighty tornado sweep through, picking the two of them up into the air. Orange Knight heard the whipping of the wind around him, and was inspired.

Yellow Wizard quickly revived Green Wizard, expecting them to be up there for a while. Suddenly a great horn sound echoed through the forest, and the winds of the tornado were countered as if from a similarly powerful wind. The two Knights dropped peacefully to the ground, the Orange of them holding a horn that was apparently the source of the sound.

As they landed Green Wizard cast Raise Dead. From the ground emerged ever more mindless zombies to charge the Knights. The Knights simply charged them, their mere momentum enough to splatter the mindless undead. The Two Wizards, scared by their relentlessness put up personal shields. Yellow Wizard then charged their position while Green hung back.

Green and Orange Knight with bursts of fire and poison began quickly wearing down Yellow Wizard’s shield. However as his shield was worn down and he was vulnerable to direct attack, the sky darkened from Green Wizard’s magicka. The Two knights remembering last time, looked up. Yellow Wizard took the brief moment to teleport back to Green Wizard as Green Wizard put up a bubble shield.

From the darkened sky came fiery meteors, whose strikes on the ground caused it so shake and flames to lick the lands, to spread with smoke blackening the air. A Meteor raced through the air, the air bursting with pressure and heat, towards the Knights. Green took out a and a sandwich, and Orange seeing his idea copied his action.

Green Wizard saw this and was puzzled. A last meal? The meteor hit their position, with dust and smoke obscuring them, but from the darkness emerged an even darker pair of shadows...two gargantuan humanoid shadows, more like trolls then humans.

The two sandwich-ed out Knights grabbed the meteors from the sky, like primordial giants taking the caps off the mountains, and launched them like the Wizards, living trebuchets, artillery biological and elemental.

The Two Wizards looked in amazement as the two knights grew huge and changed the course of the meteors themselves, defying the very forces of nature. Green Wizard used the invisibility spell and Yellow Wizard used haste and perforce enhancement and zipped across the battlefield in a circular pattern around the two giants, attempting to avoid their fire.

Yellow Wizard dipped and dodged their tremendous projectiles, and became rather comfortable in his ability to dodge them and came closer to them to tempt them further before Green Knight simply reached out his hand, the airwaves sending blowing apart Yellow Wizard into a rain of blood and gore.

Meanwhile….

The Town Portal Magicka had brought the Reds and Blues to Castle Aldreheim, to the gentle garden outside the town proper.

Blue Wizard, displeased at having his tactical retreat thwarted called down a Blizzard, the white crystals from the sky quickly, almost immediately coating the land and sky with the pristine one-ness, that blinded the eyes. Before the eyes of the Knights, the two wizards seemed to disappear into the ice and snow.

The Two Knights stayed close together in the bitter cold. From all the surroundings came Cold Elementals, monsters seemingly born from Winter’s pregnant bitterness. This came with the cold slashes of the winter’s wind to the bones. The Knights swung at the creatures, and with each swing not only did the blade go through the elemental, but the very heat of their blades created a dry zone in the snowstorm, the very snow in the air on the ground melting before almost immediately being covered again by the Blizzard. Seemingly, from the very world surrounding them unto the horizon creatures emerged, the very children of nature emerged, to tear at the Knights. But they stood back-to-back slashing at them, their power defying the forces of nature, creating an area unaffected by the world around them, their blades slashing at the snow and the storm.

The Two Wizards looked on from the horizon. Red Wizard didn’t like this tactic and so conjured an ice aura, protecting him from the cold and enchanted his blade with death energies, his blade literally emanating the very entropy of Niflheim, before charging their position to give. From the opposite direction Blue Wizard silently bode Red Wizard away from this tactic.

Red Knight saw Red Wizard approach quickly and so signaled to the other Knight, Blue Knight quickly realized what they should do and with his might created another slash so as to dry the entire area around them before Red Knight made a powerful lightning magic come forth.

The lightning leapt gleefully from wet snowflake to snowflake, with the speed of lightning and from every direction the whole of the snow all about was electrocuted. Blue Wizard saw the crystals of ice catch lightning and illuminate, the whole place suddenly glowed spectral blue with an illumination such that any normal person would be blinded, the whole place emanating such a light that it was as if a star had fallen to Earth. Red Wizard was killed but Blue Wizard was protected by his personal shield. Blue Wizard quickly took advantage of the illumination and the raw energy in the snow field and cast Vortex behind the Knights.

Red Knight behind Blue Knight saw a strange dark portal, eldritch purple at the edges and dark in the center, begin to form behind Blue Knight and with a quick desperate rush knocked the other Knight out of the way before the strange gravitational forces of the cosmos grabbed at him and without another merciful moment pulled him in and collapsed.

Blue Knight looked at the area where Red Knight was, stunned, unable to believe what he just had seen before quickly regaining composure.

Just then a portal emerged near the position of Blue Wizard, from it coming Green Wizard fleeing from the Knights. From the portal emerged Green and Orange Knight who charged at the position of Green Wizard and Blue Wizard.

Blue Knight gazed upon his partners, battling these creatures of darkness. He didn’t know what they were or where they came from, but he also did not care, he would not allow his comrades sacrifice to go in vain. Hatching a plan, Blue knight pulled out his shovel and got to work.

Green Wizard held the two offending knights back with his shield, while Blue Wizard cast an aura of fire upon them to protect from Orange’s fire magic. The two wizards traded places and Green surrounded them with a Cold aura to stop Blue’s magic as well.

Blue Knight teleported to the opposite side of this bout and pounded the ground with an earth shattering shockwave, driving the wizards back, closer towards his trap. He signaled his friends to do the same as the knights took an extremely aggressive approach pounding down on their force fields like an unstoppable force unrelenting against an immovable object.

Blue Wizard, worried about this aggression, used Timewarp, slowing everything to a crawl. The Knights stabbed, slashed, flipped and and yelled in 300 amounts of slow motion epicness. Blue Wizard then used Haste, giving himself a speed advantage, as he rapidly glides backwards to gain the distance he needed to bombard these barbarians. Unfortunately for him, this is just what Blue Knight had counted on as, Blue Wizard stepped on one of the nine bombs that were buried there, which blew him into bloody chunks.

Green Wizard found himself precariously alone as the Three Knights, led by Blue Knight rapidly approached him, as the time slow wore off. Blue Knight’s ice magic was gonna hit him any second. Green Wizard knew he had to rely on his strongest spell…..

Blue Knight fired waves of magical ice forward. Around Green Wizard, a shimmering spatial aura appeared and as the Blue Knight’s magic hit it, there was an unnerving pull as if from his soul, and a bright blue orb shimmed unto the ground. The Knights, confused as to what just happened stopped in their tracks giving Green Wizard just the time he needed to grab the strange blue mana, feeling a rush of cold stronger than any he had ever felt and firing it at the Knights freezing them in place.

Green Wizard almost breathed a sigh of relief before he heard the most terrifying sound in the whole world, the sound of ice cracking. It would be mere moments before the enemies were free. He needed backup fast.

Green Wizard quickly cast the revive spell. Yellow Wizard appeared before him and gave a friendly wave…..not enough backup. Ice cracking sound increased, faster. Green Wizard did it again and Red Wizard appeared, clearly angry. Then the ice finally gave way and the Three Knights emerged from the frigid cocoons as very angry butterflies. Green Wizard never liked fair odds of 3 vs 3, and 4 vs 3 was still dicey...but 4 vs 2 on the other hand. As Red and Yellow Wizard moved into aggressive stance, Green Wizard weaved a spell of Charming on the Knight that seemed most dangerous, the Blue One. Might as well have “A” Blue Back.

Little did the other knights know but Blue’s mind was suddenly overwhelmed and puppeted by the Green-clad Mage.

Without warning, Blue Knight kicks Green Knight launching him backwards before stabbing Orange Knight through the stomach. Orange Knight looked at his masked face and knew this was not his friend, but these heathens doing before collapsing.

Green Knight stood up and flew high into the air, firing arrows and bombs at these creatures, desperate to win. As Blue Knight looked down at Orange his mind became unclouded.

Yellow walked up to their new brainwashed ally, and leaned his elbow against his shoulder casually as he snickered at what just happened. Blue Knight looked at him, in anger he grabbed Yellow by the throat and lifted him off the ground. Yellow struggled in confusion and panic as the knight then threw him into outer space where he burned to ash in the atmosphere. Blue Knight looked to his friend knowing he could easily be brought back before going to help Green Knight.

Green Wizard, away from the battle could tell it was not going well, and knew more insurance was needed. He cast revive again and Blue Wizard appeared and Green Wizard nodded to him, happy to have the one Wizard back who actually knew how to play the darned game. As Blue Wizard hastened to understand the current situation, Green Wizard decided to recall for later from the grave his zombie minions and gave them secretive instructions.

Red Wizard dodged as best he could the furious onslaught from the Green Knight. He quickly recast the previous Time Warp so he could regain his heroic composure. Time Warp went into effect and all time slowed to a crawl with bombs and arrows inching through the air. Red Wizard saw in slow motion Yellow Wizard die from the Blue Knight, and in anger at all this nonsense decided to end Blue Knight by calling one of the Wizards’ oldest friends. He quickly cast a teleport bringing him behind the Blue Knight. As the Time Warp faded and Blue Knight turned with his sword to cleave the Red Wizard in two, Red Wizard cast another more ancient spell…

Everything changed as Niflheim’s Ruler entered the brief mortal realm. Space and Time seemed to contrast as the dark spirit with his all-eating scythe and his official travel guide license appeared. Death quickly approached them, and as Blue Knight brought his blade down on Red Wizard, Death brought his scythe down on both of them.

Red Wizard and Blue Knight felt something beyond normal pain hit as the scythe hit their bodies….it was not a sensation but the cessation, the empty void where the soul used to be and their life energy leaked down below and the two fell.

While the Wizards were gazing at this spectacle, Green Knight knowing that he could probably save Blue Knight later, slid over to Orange, he rolled him onto his back and started giving his friend chest compressions, Orange would be furious now and he really was gonna need that to help end these monsters, in a second Orange was back, at full health and all as Green helped him up.

Orange Knight’s eyes quickly went to that of pure rage for the unforgivable crime the wizards did with controlling Blue Knight, they must suffer…

The newly revived Blue Wizard along with Green Wizard hurried over to see Green Knight and the newly revived Orange Knight. The Wizards stood atop a hill, looking down on a small crevice the Knights were in. Green Wizard using Levitation attempted to bombard them from above with distracting meteors to obscure the battlefield. Meanwhile Blue Wizard cast a vortex deep below to catch up the earth and fire mana and grow into a pit to catch the two. Green Knight hurried along the edge, dodging the meteors and attempting to stay far away from the growing vortex.

The two Wizards were so intent and focused on Green Knight that they hadn’t noticed Orange Knight teleporting and sneaking up behind Blue Wizard. Blue Wizard at the last moment turned and recognized the threat and used earth mana to dislodge the hill they were on sending them both downwards. Blue Wizard eagerly used haste mana to attempted to run at an arc around the vortex, slingshotting around it like a planet around a Black Hole, but Orange enraged, used his might to propel himself directly at the Blue Wizard knowing them off-balance and into the Vortex which proceeded to collapse.

Green Wizard teleported onto the top of the hill, and Green Knight followed him only to find in the distance that Green Wizard’s zombies were headed for the city and would turn the civilians into zombies. The Two Emerald Figures glared at each other before Green Knight put his sword in the ground, a seeming act of surrender.

Green Wizard raised his arm in triumph and joy. Finally, he could stop working. Green Wizard presented his outstretched hand to Green Knight as a symbol of peace and forgiveness before casting Nullify causing all the zombies to end.

Suddenly and without warning Green Knight unleashed a giant and noxious poison cloud that encompassed the area and immediately, Green Wizard dropped dead from poisoning.

Green Knight looked on the body with the utmost disdain as it began to dissolve.

Down in Niflheim the 4 Wizards were gathering together. Green Wizard looked rather annoyed that these 4 jerks were gonna make him late for his party and Red Wizard was readying his group to go find Death.

Back above ground, Green Knight looked around. The 4 of those villains seemed to have been finally slain. Blue Knight could probably be recovered, and those Wizards had magic that could easily restore those without a body, he hoped. He needed to be able find someone that could revive them. He set off.

KO!

Results

If we’re being honest this is mostly just a setback for both of them. Whether it be getting a staff of life, getting revived by someone else, or just beating up Death, both sides will eventually get back anyway. It was really a matter of who killed who first. Thor and I discussed this a lot. While the Wizards could do things like insta-kill a Knight with Vortex, or charm them into oblivion...that’s only if the take the fight completely seriously and don’t get overwhelmed. And if there is one thing the Wizards are known for...it’s being goofs and not taking things seriously or working together. I personally think this speaks to something deeper about the characters. Both the Knights and Wizards are incredibly gifted at what they do. But the Wizards are the antibodies of Midgard, they are forces of nature designed to protect those same natural forces, and when facing things of a different cosmology, a different world drastically they don’t have the same training as the Knights do, and wouldn’t be able to use their natural intuition in order to figure out what to do which is their usual response. If they are being attacked by fire, they would think to use water to stop it. If they were being attacked by cold, they would think to use fire to heat themselves. But that only works in a world where all the magical elements exist in balance at one level and can’t compensate for elemental power or even natural might far beyond anything they possess.

Correct imp, on the other hand, The Castle Crashers are from a pretty silly world as well, but they are the most serious thing about it, they are better at teamwork and end up being a lot more battle field efficient because of it. The Wizards normal attacks won’t phase the Knights meaning they must use hax and that means they must be very focused and strategic to implement these creative kills in order to win. The Knights are strong enough to oneshot Wizards with every hit, but they will keep coming back as long as one’s left, meaning the knights have to aggressively deal as much damage as possible and quickly. This fight is fundamentally a squad on squad Deadpool VS Deathstroke that way, but when you ask yourself who would correctly realize and implement the strategy to win first…yeah.

It is important to remember that how people playing these games are not the same as how the characters act canonically. While Really good Magicka Players might beat Castle Crashers players in a similar situation, it’s important to understand that the canonical Wizards are not the same as big-league players. They might be as skilled as them, but they don’t take their own world or themselves very seriously and don’t care that much about dying given how easy resurrection is in the Magicka world. On the other Hand, Death is something to be avoided in Castle Crashers, so logically the Knights are much more careful and smart in their combat. Looks like the Wizards...Got Crashed.

The Winners, are the Castle Crashers.